Good day/night/evening/dawn! :icon_bigg So, to get to the point and not waste anyone's time, I'm pretty scared of having a boyfriend. Well, again I should say. I had a boyfriend for about 3 months and I hated asking my parents to go out with him or to hang out. Now, my parents are very accepting of me, and their behavior that's the problem. It's all in my head, I'm sure. I just hate them knowing I'm gay, that I'm different. That when I'm with a guy, that I could be in his arms, instead of holding a girl. It almost disgusts me to ask them anything regarding a boyfriend. But when I'm with a guy, none of that matters because they're able to take my mind off of it. Like I said, my parents couldn't care less that I'm gay. I think this is a serious mental thing going on. It's gotten so bad that I cannot wait to leave my home, (something I never thought I'd say,) just so I can happily be myself and with a guy without even worrying about my family at all. Kind of scatter-brained and hard to follow, I'm sure, but any help is appreciated
Trying to second guess the thoughts and feelings of another person (even your parents, who you know well) will tie you in knots and really hold you back in life. You can see that already because it's stopping you from following your hopes and dreams of having a boyfriend. It sounds like your parents are warm and accepting people who want the best for you, so how do you think they would feel to know that you are putting yourself through all of this on their account? Rather than being upset at the thought of you dating another guy, they would probably be more upset to think that you are not, and wanting to leave home over it... all because you are trying to get inside their heads and imagine how they are thinking. You can burn up so much emotional energy thinking like this and it's really pointless because your parents have already shown a lot of respect for you. While you are with a boyfriend it's more likely that they will go shopping for groceries, wash the car or visit your Aunt Mary, than frantically wonder what you are getting up to. Stop being your own worst enemy. It sounds like you are imagining far more than your parents.
Ok so it sounds to me like you might have anxiety. Look it up online and see if you can relate. Wishing you the best if luck! I hope this helped some ...
You're definitely right about me being my own worst enemy. That sounds like exactly what I'm doing. Thank you :icon_bigg
