I Love Him But He's Driving Me Nuts

I've posted previously about a lot of the issues I've had with my partner, his family, and my living situation in the past.

To sum it up, I was living with my partner for about eight months, renting out a room from his mother. It wasn't a good living situation- his mother had both substance abuse issues and had a tendency to get violent. Plus, my partner was out of work, making it impossible for the two of us to find a better place to live. It was also a huge financial strain on me. Not only did I have rent to pay but I had my own bills to worry about, his bills, and his mother even pressured me into paying the water bill.

After eight months I finally had enough with even trying to make things better and I moved back to my home state. While I'm living with relatives at the moment I'm in a much better place financially and will be able to move into my own place very soon. As you can imagine the current living situation is both a lot less stressful and gives me better access to work opportunities. I actually have a better job now and the housing market is a lot more affordable up here. I'll probably have my own place within the next few moths.

My partner and I, after a lot of talking, decided to continue on with a long distance relationship, on the condition that he look for work, get a job, and start saving up so that he can be financially independent.

But to be honest, I don't know anymore. He hasn't even tried looking for work even after I left even though he continues to promise he will, he always demands I call or text him constantly even if I'm working, and he gets jealous if I try to spend any time with family or go out. Sometimes if I take more than 5-10 minutes replying to a text he'll get moody.

In fact, I sometimes have to lie if I do anything like go see a movie because of how jealous he gets of me having fun without him. When I lived with him, we never went out and did anything even when we could afford it because he either didn't want to, wasn't in the mood, or didn't want to do anything I wanted to.

When I first left and moved back home, I changed my profile picture on Facebook from a picture of us to a picture of just me and he did the same thing. But he later changed his back to a couples picture and is guilting me into changing mine back, saying that "people won't know we're together" if I don't. That's just one of many things he keeps begging me to do.

He also recently announced that he doesn't want me to ever get top surgery because he "likes my chest". While I'm not entirely sold on getting top surgery, that really bothers me because I get dysphoric a lot of the time and I have to bind before I can even think about leaving the house. It's like he expects me to bind forever just so when I get home he can look at my chest.

I'm really bothered by a lot of this. The problem is, I don't know how to approach any of it. Every time we've talked about me, say, not replying immediately to a text or him getting a job, he says he'll do better and then it's like I never said anything the next day.

He's the first partner I've ever had. And I feel guilty about even thinking about ending it, even though part of me really wants to. When I moved out, my boyfriend initially broke up with me. And to be really honest? I was relieved when he did. And sometimes I wish he'd be the one to break up with me just so I wouldn't have to.

I'm really not happy anymore and I sometimes have trouble remembering what I liked about him. He was caring, intelligent, insightful but that got quickly overshadowed by both his lack of a job, his mother, and these other issues.

TL;DR: I used to live with boyfriend. We briefly broke up, now back together long distance. Relationship is troubled- he's controlling, clingy, and I wanted space. I'm in a better situation now than I was when I was living with him but our relationship didn't get better. What do I do?