Hey Guys, Long time no ... well log-in Okayyy so a miracle happened a few months ago and I ended up in a relationship with someone that lives a two minute walk away and not interstate. He happens to be not only divinely beautiful but a person with a kind heart and not to mention funny but here's the rub (no pun intended.. well kind of) I suffer from a particularly fun case of serious anxiety. This anxiety tends to invade all facets of my life... employment, education even going outside sometimes is quite a challenge but last but not least it makes sexual stuff more difficult. It both makes it hard to be hard (when the attention is on me, when its on him i'm constantly hard.. talk about frustration) but it also sucks a lot of the joy of the entire experience. Anyway I actually don't mind much to be honest, he makes me happy anyway but i'm more worried about his happiness, he doesn't complain and he's happy to help work though this with me, well so he says but i'm starting to feel fairly guilty. Do you guys think i'm being selfish keeping him around?! Should I let him go for his own good or do you think I should stay with him.. because i care for him deeply i really do. Okay this ended up far longer than I intended... for those who read this... HERES A COOKIE xD thanks guys xo.
Hi Speaking as an anxiety sufferer myself, I completely understand the temptation to push him away. I've felt this before - but this is your anxiety talking, not what you really want so don't listen to it. It sounds like you have something really good here. He's with you because he's chosen to be, and you sound like apart from the anxiety you are really happy together. If you let him go there's a good chance you'll end up hurting him more. From your post it doesn't sound like dealing with your anxiety is too much for him and it sounds like he is really supportive which is great. Let him know you understand that supporting someone with anxiety can be very difficult and that he needs to take care of himself too and you'll help him do that where possible, but that you love him and appreciate him and that you're a team so you can work through things together.
It sounds like a little bit of performance anxiety to me and it's actually very common. It may help you to read through this thread and the responses: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/chit-chat/166596-how-get-over-performance-anxiety.html It sounds like you have found a really good guy who is patient and kind, so no way should you let him go. You have only known him for a couple of months, so you are still at the 'settling in' period; as time passes and your love and confidence in him (and with him) grows this anxiety will likely subside anyway. If he says he is happy with you and wants to work through it, believe him, instead of concerning yourself with a whole load of different thoughts and feelings. Good to have you back on EC... and thanks for the cookie!
Oh i've known him for 6 months only been dating for a couple tho Oh definitely.. haha alcohol does not help with it... just another anxiety thing i get to enjoy . Its one anxiety causing insecurity causing more insecurity then guilt. I definitely want to keep him around he's pretty amazing tbh. Just can't help but feel bad. Thanks for the welcome xD
