I am currently in the closet as a lesbian or bi sexual, I don't know for sure yet. But there's this guy that's been constantly asking me out. By constantly I mean for 4 years. Ever since Freshman year, this poor nice guy has been doing cute things for me. This year, we started talking again. I eventually left my friends for this guy because every day I would smoke with him. It's gotten to the point where he calls me babe and wants me to make it official. I enjoy his company and I do like him but not romantically. I just see myself with a girl and I can't get over the fact that I have to kiss him. I can't tell him i'm gay because i'm obviously in the closet. And it's gone to the point where he's my best friend and I don't want to lose him.:icon_sad:
Wow, that sucks. He seems like such a nice person and a great friend to be around. :icon_sad: I think if he's so in love with you though, he'll definitely want the best for you and understand your situation. You should just tell him the truth: that you love him as a friend, but not romantically. Good luck there.
If I were you I would tell him that you're in an online relationship with someone but want to be friends with him still.
Aw thanks for the advice guys You're right, I should tell him that i'm not romantically interested. Idk about the online relationship thing lol he would know.
No problem, and yeahhh lying to someone while trying to be their best friend probably isn't the best idea xD
I think you need to be clearer than just "not romantically interested." He sounds nice but he also isn't able to take a hint after four years of being turned down. You need to tell him politely but firmly that you have no romantic interest, you will never have romantic interest and you will never date or be his girlfriend. I would not mention anything that he would construe as a possible chance for things to change. If he wants a reason you can tell him you like someone else that he doesn't know. This is true. Just remember that you won't be doing him or you a favor if you don't make this exceedingly clear to him.
Yeah i'm a pretty shitty person for giving him the wrong idea. But just this week he's been telling me he loves me and that i'm the only reason he goes to my school. He has so much going on and I feel like I need to be there for him. Even if I have to pretend I like him. He thinks that I deep down like him. Not sure what i'll do now but I will tell him clearly that I don't feel the same way
Ah, the accursed friendzone. I feel sorry for him. Either crush his hopes completely (this is for his own good), or stop pretending to care about his well being. How many times do I have to read stories like this?
What stops you from coming out? I agree that you need to be more direct than you have been in the past, but it would also help to give the actual reason.
I guess what stops me from coming out is judgement. I know my friends wouldn't give a rat's ass but there's something in me that can't let them know. And I do care about his well being a lot. I feel like if he some how finds out he'll completely stop talking to me. I'm sorry if my story urks you.
It doesn't irk me, but you should try to really go over whether your fears are grounded in reality. If you have been close for so long, then it seems unlikely he would completely stop talking if you came out. Also, coming out doesn't mean all or nothing. I started first with some very long-term friends who I knew supported LGBT rights.
If this is true then you would break this off now. If you are allowing this charade to continue because you are afraid he'll stop talking to you then you are doing it for you not him. Will his heart be less broken somewhere in the future once you decide to tell him? Probably not and then you will have wasted his time when he could have been over it, moved on and found a real relationship with someone else. People get their hearts broken, he'll be fine.
Thank you guys so much! I really appreciate the helpful advice. You're definitely right about the future and how it shouldn't effect our friendship. Although, i'm still going to hide my sexuality for now.
