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Help - I'VE FALLEN FOR A POPULAR GIRL AND I DON'T KNOW IF SHE'S ANYWHERE NEAR GAY

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by splitinhalf, Oct 9, 2015.

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  1. splitinhalf

    splitinhalf
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    I don't know, do you?
    Ugh, I've done it again; I've fallen for somebody, and it's even worse this time. Being a person who's not that out yet, it's pretty hard for me to talk to people about being gay or have other people talk to me about their being LGBTQ+. Anyway, this amazing girl I've sorta been obsessing over since last year is in my class this year, and the problem is, I'm totally and irrevocably into her. Thing is, I have no idea if she's possibly into girls as well, and it's also pretty much impossible for me to talk to her. My anxiety with people and the fact that she's "popular" won't allow that. See, in my year the cliques/groups are pretty pronounced, so it's difficult to bridge those gaps, and is just so happens that my crush is in the "popular" one. That means that she's ALWAYS with her group of friends, who I tend to be quite wary of, which is pretty difficult for me if I wanna at least talk to her. I don't wven know if she's straight or not. I've a friend who told me she sent him a message on Skype saying "I'm gay", but who the hell knows if it's one of those pranks? They occur pretty often within those groups after all... Anyway, sorry for the rant – I just want an unbiased opinion? Thanks!
     
    #1 splitinhalf, Oct 9, 2015
  2. Truna

    Truna
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    Hey, don't lose hope. :slight_smile: As long as your friendship is strong enough, I think cliques and friend groups don't matter as much. I'm actually in a pretty similar situation myself; didn't talk to this cute girl all of last year, and suddenly we have four classes together and get along incredibly well. She's in a pretty close-knit popular group while I'm in a small nerdy group (lol), but we usually hang out with each other regardless of who else is at the lunch table.
    You never know about sexualities, either. If you've heard of even the smallest possibility that she might be gay, then you have a better chance than most lesbians with crushes, me included. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Hope I helped to some degree, and good luck!
     
    #2 Truna, Oct 9, 2015
  3. splitinhalf

    splitinhalf
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    Ah, thanks for responding, Truna. I've been sort of oscillating between having hope and losing it. I'm actually not that close to her, so we don't actually really talk? I've a friend who told her I'm scared of her, so that's a bit...weird?

    And agh, I've been in your situation before – the pain! There was a girl I used to like who I hung out with for a whole year. It was really awesome that we could talk and that she claimed to support LGBTQ+ stuff, but she once exclaimed that she's straight when a dude teased her. She randomly upped and left though, and that sorta wrecked me, but that was around two years ago already? People are weird. xD
     
    #3 splitinhalf, Oct 9, 2015
  4. ImSleepwalking

    ImSleepwalking
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    Maybe you could try something anonymous at first, like win her over subtly without her knowing exactly who you are (BUT NOT SOMETHING STUPID LIKE THOSE EMBARRASSING COOKIES ON VALENTINES DAY THEY GIVE OUT FROM CRUSHES AT SCHOOL), then try to develop a friendship with her. I think if she aligns the actions with your personality, then maybe she would consider going out (if she is into girls).
     
    #4 ImSleepwalking, Oct 9, 2015
  5. secretagent

    secretagent
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    I have or maybe, itś a had, the same problem. I honestly thinks sheś perfect and I get buterflies everytime I see her. I run into at school and we end up face to face I say hi and so does she but I don know if she would ever really want to be seen with me outside of our class together. Itś extremely stressful but I wouldn give up she could secretly like you back you never know but also don get your hopes up too high because I know my crush has told me about the boy :´( she has a crush on multiple times. Whatever she has told me when we were watching the movie green fried tomatoes that the movie would be so much better if the girls were lesbians and I was like YES!!!! but then she said she doesn really know why but she hopes so. I told her they were and she got happy so Iḿ hoping sheś bi sorry i just realized I started ranting. I should stop. Bye.
     
    #5 secretagent, Oct 9, 2015
  6. splitinhalf

    splitinhalf
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    I don't know, do you?
    Aha, anonymous sounds good. Right now I'm not really getting anywhere by finding lowkey excuses (tagging along with a friend who's friends with her, trying to sort of get as physically close as possible, etc.) to be noticed by her. :lol: :dry:

    The only barriers I have to get across to do that though, are my anxiety with people and getting past her friends. I guess it'll be like an espionage thing! (!)

    ---------- Post added 10th Oct 2015 at 11:41 AM ----------
    Aw, that really sucks. I get how you feel. Like, a lot. It's also so very hard to maintain a balance between getting your hopes up and giving up. At least she's talked to you? Maybe try getting closer to her as a friend! Good luck with her! (!)
     
    #6 splitinhalf, Oct 9, 2015
  7. Truna

    Truna
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    OMG I totally feel you there
    Popular girls are scary as heck, especially when they're nice to you and really attractive...

    Well, you have the whole year to be friends with her. Plenty of time to win her heart! :wink:
     
    #7 Truna, Oct 10, 2015
  8. splitinhalf

    splitinhalf
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    YES attractive popular girls, oh my god. And yeahhh, I know I've the whole year, but I dunno, she might be straight!

    Apparently I have a thing for girls who're taller than me and smell really good. How bout you guys?
     
    #8 splitinhalf, Oct 11, 2015
  9. Truna

    Truna
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    holy frick, I am so unhealthily obsessed with girls who smell good
    I feel like such a creep when they walk past and I just catch a whiff of their shampoo and die a little inside..

    I dunno about my type though. I've liked on taller girls before and my current crush is this cute as heck girl who's a bit shorter than me, which is funny considering I'm 5'2".
     
    #9 Truna, Oct 11, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2015
  10. splitinhalf

    splitinhalf
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    I don't know, do you?
    Innit the truth though... But once you catch a whiff it's so hard not to follow the scent. xD

    And ah, I don't really have a set type of girl, it's just that I guess I find it a little more comfortable to be with a person who's taller in comparison to someone who's shorter, cuz I'm around 5'1", but I have a really wiiiiide skeletal frame, goddamit. Also, maybe I might have a sorta power complex type of thing? I dunno, but I have a thing for confident people and the thought of being able to have power over them (like, a kink thing, obvs not in a bad way, I wouldn't do anything without consent), is pretty appealing to me, although I'm not saying that I don't like to be taken care of though...that is, if I ever actually get a girlfriend... :icon_redf

    My best friend's preeeeetty sure my crush is straight tho. I guess only time will tell. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
    #10 splitinhalf, Oct 12, 2015
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