So this is my first post and I found this website in my googling to find someone else with a similar issue or helpful advice. Here's the situation: I haven't ever been in a relationship before, but recently have begun to make out and do other stuff with a best friend of mine who is a girl and it's been great. Neither one of us has stated that we are interested in a committed relationship with each other, but we both have basically told each other that we are interested in each other sexually. The attraction is not really a problem and we are practically inseparable when we are together and talk all the time when we are not. She however has just recently realized her bisexuality while I have known my own since I was 17. She has been involved sexually with guys for years and has a ton of experience, whereas I am a sexual newbie. We are basically opposites in that way. This idea gives me a little anxiety even though I try not to show it when we are together although I have mentioned my worry about it to her. The two of us have had conversations about how I am not ready for the intimacy of sex, or what I view as sex, and she has been accommodating and understanding about it. This is all a relatively new relationship so I made sure to communicate that early on. The last time we were together, though, things were getting intense and I got her off a few times, but when it was reversed, as much as I wanted to, I felt that it was taking too long and was too nervous to clear my head enough to relax. I don't want to give her a complex about not being able to help me out, but I am worried that it is going to take me longer to get over my nervousness than either of us expected. Basically I want to know if I messed up by doing things to her because she is ready, while I was not ready for things to be done to me yet. Is this a situation that will resolve itself as we become more intimate?
I don't think you've committed any mistake. The important thing in bed is for sex to be consenting and for people to only do things they are comfortable with. You were happy to please her and I am sure she was happy trying to do the same with you. If she has a fair amount of experience then she'll know how sex can be stressful for a newbie (and even though for more experienced people) and won't feel offended if it takes you more time to relax and let yourself go. Personally I wouldn't be offended at all, but communication is the key. Make sure she knows how you feel and don't hesitate to ask her how she feels about the current situation, talking is also a good way to become more relax about what may happen in bed. Don't pressure yourself too much, I have had a few sexual encounters myself and still get super nervous and scared of messing up each time, so you are not alone. Take a deep breathe and keep enjoying what you are doing ( you only live once !)
Hi there ! I don't have much experience with girls but I remember what it was like to be a newbie with an experienced partner. The thing I discovered (way later though) is that is actually help if you start by learning your body, what you like, what you are like. I used to be super nervous for some stuff and couldn't relax enough to enjoy it. You have to take it slowly and try to be comfortable with your body, and relaxing through breathing and concentrating on sensations in your body really helps too. If think you should be ok, and I'm sure she'll understand. Have a nice day !
