He said he likes me but I'm confused by what he meant by that

This is my first time posting here- and I've been a long time lurker and found this site very helpful (thank you)!

Anyhow, I'm 25 years old, and after dealing with my feelings where I suppressed most thoughts of my own identity for ten years (identity and behavior I kept separate), I finally came out to a few friends as bisexual, or at the very least, not straight. One of my friends is gay (let's call him friend #2) took me a long time to figure it out but I inferred it from his facebook) and he and I have the same straight best friend (friend #1).

Anyhow, he seems to have been warmer (was aloof in the past) towards me since I came out to him and was glad that I was willing to talk to him. Thing is, he intimidates me because he came across as really intense (in terms of academics) and aloof in the past and I was pretty cautious (mainly because I was going through my own set of issues with school and didn't want to be thrown under the bus if he found out, which he never did when I finally told him). When he and I sat down in the past there was usually an awkward silence until I finally broke the ice and talked about school.

He and I are talking more and he's taken it upon himself to give me a lot of constructive criticism (in overall life and in school- the advice was helpful, and he wasn't mean about it, he talks in a positive way about how I can improve myself) and the last person to have done that was my best friend in high school. He's also asked how I'm doing when he knew I was stressed and isolated. So he's showing himself to be a good friend who cares about me all along, which surprises me.

However, lately his advice was for me to treat conversations between me and him to be more 50/50 so I can get to know him better (because I dominated the conversation) and he added (a little while after I told him I was going on a date with a guy for the first time, which he was happy about because I was making progress) that the reason why he's given me criticism is because he likes me.

I didn't really give him a response to that, because I wasn't sure what to say. It's one thing to say to a guy that you criticize him because he's your friend (which my best friend from high school said), it's another thing to say you criticize him because you like him (especially when both of your sexualities are similar). So I don't know what he meant by that because he left it ambiguous.

Besides, he'd probably be considered a "jock" in gay parlance (I'd probably be considered a twink, only because I'm skinny) and judging from his Facebook, asides from school friends, is friends mostly with other "jocks". I mean, he and I do have a lot of similar views and he's hardly superficial, but I've seen enough on ****** and S***** to know that "jocks" generally prefer only "jocks".

What on earth do I say?

 

It's a little complicated. I vent to him about school and tell him I hate talking about my feelings and he pointed to me I was already doing it; I tell him I'm reserved and I hate talking, and he pointed to me that I actually love talking but won't acknowledge that I do. He's basically attempting to act as a mirror so I realize what I'm doing, and he's basically spot on.

And to give a context, he mentioned to me that I was talking to him as if he was a therapist (because it was essentially a one way conversation) and he told me he wasn't qualified, that I should make things more 50/50 especially when dealing with friends, and that I needed to ask him more questions to get to know him better, instead of it being one way. He encouraged me to try to build a better support network and go out more, because i moved across the country from my family, who I was close with, but he also knows that I trust him, along with two other friends.

Then I mentioned the date to him, I also mentioned I had an older gay friend in his 30s who lived close to me (which he was surprised by because I met the friend 7 months before, and he thought I was one of the first people he told), and after that (approaching the end of the conversation) was the he likes me part- this was the tail end of the conversation.

After that, he asked me if I felt better after venting (I told him I was going to curb the dumping of info because I bottled up talking to people over the past month), asked me what I was doing after because he was heading back home to take a nap, and was happy I told him I was going to head out of the apartment. Then he texted "Good chat! " afterwards.

Here's a few other things- I know he pays attention to my facebook (even though he has thousands of friends) because friend #1 doesn't have a facebook and he has a tendency towards telling friend #1 what I'm up to or showing friend #1 what I posted.

I also avoid complimenting friend #2 because I'm certain he already gets hit on a lot by other guys. But it's my personality, I rarely praise people to their faces. Instead, I told him that my parents (not out to them yet, and friend #2 gave me advice on when to tell them) appreciate him talking to me and helping me.

One time he was a little irritated that I was asking friend #1 for fitness advice instead of him, but that was because he was more fit than friend #1.

Yes, I do like him- and I may have smiled but I didn't say anything back because I was flabbergasted and wasn't sure what he meant. No, I haven't followed up with the question yet, but I don't want him to feel like I was trying to come on to him or make things awkward.

 

So, it's been a month since the last post I made, so here's what happened.

a) I decided to just observe and see what happens after he said that he likes me, because I wasn't sure if he meant like as in like, or like as in friend. I was sitting in lunch with him and a couple of other friends, and the other friend mentioned in hushed tones to him "did your boyfriend go with you" (nothing related to a breakup). Which led me to just get over it and start the process of finding someone else. He never mentioned the existence of one to me personally.

b) A few weeks later, I found his profile on a dating app (I knew it was always there, but I never had the nerve to check it until later). It said he was single, was into dating and friends but he didn't want a hookup. Totally understand because after six years of hooking up with guys I was sick of guys getting to know me first by reaching down my pants, and that was probably what he was getting, especially since he gets called a hunk frequently (whereas I don't, although most of the compliments I've had was that I was cute). I made a point of NOT treating him as a piece of meat, so I never complimented him on his looks, because he gets enough on social media.

I know him well enough that he's very honest. Also, that same profile says that he's into jocks and muscle (himself being a jock), and I have the figure of a twink though working on my way to getting fit (he used to be really thin like I was years ago). So, again, I discounted him because he only checked those two boxes. He never told me personally the types he was into, and I only hinted when I told him my first date was 6'2 and 180 pounds (indicating he was muscular), which he was surprised by. He demanded to see pics and I told him no.

c) The past month, I had a concussion and later had to go to the ER. He told me through text that he would have accompanied me to the ER himself if he were in town (he was out of town at the time, but if that were in town, that would have been a long trip for him, at least 45 minutes). Our mutual straight best friend (who lived 10 minutes away) didn't say such a thing, which bothered me a bit.

He wound up checking on me regularly after to make sure I went to class, and after a slightly contentious conversation, told me that he'd hate to see me fall behind at school.

He also started telling me to avoid certain people at school that he knew to be backstabbing other people, and got surprised when I told him that paranoia could be taken too far, and he thought I implied he was paranoid.

tl;dr of this: The past month, I've started to realize that he's investing in my emotional, physical and academic well being, and is starting to get protective, more so than our mutual friend (who's our best friend), and I've had strong friendships before that took years to get to that point. And he seems sensitive to what I think of him.

This is a 180 degree turnaround from before (asides from him paying close attention to my FB even if he had thousands of friends on FB), and it was after he basically told me to drop my guard. I'm unnerved by him suddenly showing that he cares about me a lot.

d) He's now initiating contact 90% of the time (even if it's every other day), rather than the other way around where it was before. Probably because I hesitate sometimes to contact him first and I'm still fairly timid though I do hang around him at school (we're study buddies). We were both timid to each other before.

e) Earlier this week, I went incommunicado for just one or two days and our mutual friend told me they were worried about why is it I dropped off the grid. Pretty sure it was just him and our mutual friend used "we" instead. I got the hint that he was expecting me to be around. He's now more aggressive in reminding me to go class (under the guise of academics), and asked me why I was skipping. To tell the truth, I skipped plenty of times for a long time before he started doing that. Also, this is the only time, really, we see each other.

f) I've only hinted to him that I liked him back by telling him my parents (who don't know about me yet) appreciate him helping me out and looking after me, and told him that I valued his opinion. It's indirect and it shows him that I like him enough that I tell my parents about him, and they think positively of him.

I'll continue to play it by ear. I'm still distrusting my gut that he likes as in likes me, and at the very least, he's a friend, but at this trajectory, he's going further than any other friendship that I've had (and I've had very strong ones before). Frankly, I distrust my gut on anything that isn't objective, and that's because I've literally had no relationships before and I'm REALLY late to the dating game.

---------- Post added 21st Nov 2015 at 06:40 PM ----------

A few addendums:

a) I couldn't help but shrink a little bit... the few times where he shows concern for me in person, he was looking at me as if I was a puppy that fell down a well.

b) No flirting, at least not that I'm aware of (I'm oblivious), asides from him looking down and away (if I remember right) when I told him I was incapable of getting into a relationship because I was too busy and it would be unfair to the other guy that I wouldn't be able to give him the attention the other guy needed and he told me, "You don't know that."

c) Not a lot of eye contact before. More, now.

d) Maybe I'm wrong, but he's spending so much time studying with our mutual friend, and studying by himself that it's unlikely he'd have the time for a boyfriend.

 

Another addendum:

a) We're both pretty passionate when it comes to talking about certain topics, and I think he's noticing.

b) He complains sometimes that I'm too soft spoken and keeps telling me to speak up. I don't remember him doing that before.

 

I came out to him over three months ago. He's started doing this about a month and a half ago, when we finally had time to talk more after some difficult exams we had to do. If anything, he should have been paying attention to me far more when I came out. We still weren't talking all that much, until things turned around 180 degrees a month and a half back and after he told me to drop my guard.

It's hard to separate the straight best friend from us since we study together and it's turned into a friendship triangle. So, the reality is either we could have dinner on part of our commute where it's an awkward silence (and he's complained once that he felt that I didn't really ask him questions to get to know him better- but that's kinda difficult when I'm really quiet and observant and pick things up and he posts on Facebook all the time so I know a lot of his business). Or I could ask him to give me pointers on weightlifting at the gym, which he'd be happy to do.

 

Apologies if I went into a ton of detail on this; I know I have a tendency to way overthink things but I'm still really hesitant to say I like him because I'm already dependent on him and our mutual straight best friend for moral support, and for studying, and I don't want to mess things up because of it.

 

Hello? Hoping for a little more advice. Appreciate all of your help.