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Facebook causing relationship problems

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by amoore658, Oct 18, 2015.

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  1. amoore658

    amoore658
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    Hi everyone

    Well as the title says, Facebook's "Last active" feature on messenger has been causing serious issues and doubts in my Long Distance relationship.

    Basically, on Friday I noticed my boyfriend was "Active" for most of the day, which didn't strike me as too odd, because he was in Uni. Long story short we Skyped on Friday night, but because he had work at 7am the next morning, we stopped at about 23:30. His Facebook was Active the entire time until about 02:30 in the morning.

    I then confronted him, to which he denied everything. We then "tested" it on Skype - and, as I predicted, the accuracy of the Last active was 100%.

    His phone then did it last night again until 02:30, and has been doing it all day. He was in work at 7am again, which means if he really is doing this, he's surviving on 3 hours sleep per night... Which makes me think he isn't actually cheating, but who knows?

    Am I just being really stupid here? It's so hard because he denies everything, but tonight he says he'll leave Skype on to see if it happens, whilst proving he isn't on his phone. I don't know what else to do? I'm going over to see him on Thursday and if his phone mysteriously stops doing it whilst I'm over, I can only draw one conclusion.

    Has anyone got any ideas on this? OR any other ways in which I could prove he's telling the truth - or prove he's lying?
     
    #1 amoore658, Oct 18, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2015
  2. CyanChachki

    CyanChachki
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    I'm a little confused about the issue.. Why is it a bad thing that he's active on Facebook?
     
    #2 CyanChachki, Oct 18, 2015
  3. tulipinacup

    tulipinacup
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    I think it's all on you. There might be reasons as to why he was on Facebook. It's either that a glitch or he really did have it on but that doesn't also mean that he's been snooping all day.
     
    #3 tulipinacup, Oct 18, 2015
  4. amoore658

    amoore658
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    It's not the fact he's on Facebook per se... It's the fact that he says hes off to bed, but 3 hours later he's been on Fb the whole time... So it really does look like hes messaging someone else..
     
    #4 amoore658, Oct 18, 2015
  5. bingostring

    bingostring
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    sometimes "active" can just mean you are connected.. I think
    not necessarily messaging or anything
     
    #5 bingostring, Oct 18, 2015
  6. OGS

    OGS
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    I have to say that if something like this is causing you to doubt his word there probably are real problems in your relationship and they probably have little to do with what is or isn't going on on Facebook. Why is your default response to doubt him?
     
    #6 OGS, Oct 18, 2015
  7. Lin1

    Lin1
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    I think the problem comes from you and your insecurities, not facebook.

    Regardless of whether or not he is on Facebook checking out stuff or else, why do you feel the need to check on everything he does and verify that he does exactly what he says he is doing ? Why don't you trust him ? Relationship are supposed to be based on trust and communication. Having a ''cop'' a boyfriend can be extremely tiring and could quickly ruin your relationship so you need to get down to the roots of the problem.

    If he is actually messaging other people what's the problem ? He is not having sex with them obviously (or he wouldn't be on fb) is he ? I personally have plenty of friends all over the world and I receive messages at all time of the day and night so I may log in for a second to check one if I am awakened by my phone, doesn't mean I am spending the night on facebook, and even if I did can't see why anyone should be upset about what I do on my own free time, surely ?

    I personally think you should work on your jealousy and learn to trust your partner. It would cause you and him much less stress and strain on your relationship and would allow you to actually relax and enjoy what you have instead of freaking out about the smallest thing and double checking everything.
     
    #7 Lin1, Oct 18, 2015
  8. resu

    resu
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    Last active means last active. No more, no less. It doesn't mean continuous activity.

    When you say he "denies everything", what are you actually asking that he denies? You seem to think cheating is a possibility, and that's a very big claim based on what you wrote here.
     
    #8 resu, Oct 18, 2015
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