How do I confront my boyfriend about him being on a geosocial networking app?

Hi all (sorry for the long post in advance):

So I'd really appreciate some advice on how to approach this topic with my boyfriend. Some background info:

I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship a few months back. After the breakup, it was my plan to take some time and just be single (not hooking up or anything, but just being by myself a bit). Since it was still summertime, I was looking for tennis partners to be able to play a lot, so I downloaded some social apps, one particularly popular with the gay community (that's used heavily for hookups) just hoping to meet some people. I downloaded the latter maybe hoping to meet some other gay guys, since I don't have many, or any, gay friends.

So of course, since I wasn't really looking for anyone to date seriously, I find someone on the latter app, and when we first talked on that app for a really long time and planned a date soon after. Of course that went amazingly well and fast forward a few months later, we're dating and are a couple. (We had the exclusivity talk and became an "official" couple 2 weeks ago after a few months of dating). I deleted the app pretty quickly (after date 5) since things were going super well, and I had no use for it. I just assumed (I know...) that he had done the same.

So a few weeks ago, my boyfriend had to travel to Canada on business. He made some comment about how "he was very popular at the airport with the older, discreet guys" and then said something like "oh, I just got onto (geosocial app) because I was curious to see who was around". (I didn't say anything about it, but it did raise my antennas, however, I decided to let it slide because who hasn't been curious about who's around?). Anyways, the other day, we had gone on a date, and he made some comment about this app, so I got curious again, but didn't say anything. Later that night, when I got home, I downloaded the app again, and signed in, did some searching, and lo and behold, there he was. Granted, his profile didn't have any solicitation for sex or anything (as it didn't when we first met), but based on previous conversations that we've had, I know he had used it in the past for sex.

It's been a few days and I'll randomly sign in, sometimes I'll see him, sometimes I won't. But now I'm concerned that he may still be cruising around. I mean, it seems like the relationship is going really well: he's met my family and friends and vice versa (and it's the first time we've both introduced a guy to the fam/friends). And I really like him and the feeling is mutual.

So the question: How to I approach this topic with my boyfriend? I don't want to be sneaking around, hoping to catch him. I'll be going away for a few days, and I'm almost tempted to create a profile to see if he'll catch the bait, but I would hate to be that distrusting. In my defense, I have a pretty shitty history with sneaky guys so it's made me very distrusting and insecure in relationships.

What do you recommend I do? It's really starting to weigh on me. Is it possible that he's just on there for curiousity? Should I be concerned? How do I bring it up? Should I create the fake profile?

ANY ADVICE WOULD PUT MY MIND AT EASE... Thanks a million in advance!

 

Thanks for the quick reply! How does this seem strange to you? (I'm genuinely asking). I mean... it seems like it's a daily thing, so that's why I'm concerned. I can tell you straight up that it's my insecurity that's propelling this. I have a history of meeting really crappy people who have ended up deceiving me and I'm scared that history will repeat itself. It's true, if he were doing something sneaky, he would probably be more discreet about it, but the irrational, insecure part of me is telling me that he's probably just looking for something else, or something better.

 

Thanks for the great advice so far! (Please keep it coming!) I've only been out for 2 years so I'm sure that doesn't help with my issues since I feel like I'm still learning a lot.

I realize that most of this is caused by my insecurities in myself and in relationships. For example, he's a really busy guy and so am I, but we still manage to see each other a lot. So that should be a good sign to me. However, my anxiety and paranoia gets to the point where when he goes home, I start worrying that now he's going to take advantage of that time to find a hook up or find someone better.

My issues stem from a lot of really shitty things that have happened to me and although I've kind of touched on my issues with insecurity and anxiety with him, I haven't gone into detail yet. (It's pretty heavy and I would rather this conversation happen organically rather than just trying to force it for the sake of him knowing.)

He hasn't ever given me a reason to distrust him, so it's unfair to him that I do so by default. It's not fair to compare him to my past relationships because he's totally removed from all that. I'm just scared that I tend to attract a certain type of guy and that he might be no different.

I'm thinking I might just table the "issue". When the time comes to discuss my insecurities with him in detail, then maybe I'll bring up my feelings (in a general sense regarding the app) since I don't want to be accursatory.