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I don't like my friends anymore...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by MayaBee, Oct 20, 2015.

  1. MayaBee

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    So, I am going to start this with saying that before meeting my friends again a few days ago, I had 2 weeks holidays. In those 2 weeks I have been deeply questioning myself more than ever before and when school started again, I was kinda happy about that because I would meet my friends again. But as soon as I met them, I realised that I wasnt happy to see my friends, I was... disappointed. And with a lot of thinking a came to a conclusion. I wasnt excited to see my friends, I was secretly hoping to be me again, that me, that doesnt stare at a wall for 30 min, being so deeply caught up in thoughts, that me, that always had energy, that me, that wasnt so depressed cause I wasnt able to make up my mind about myself.
    And in the past time, I have been so focused on myself, that I dont really feel a connection with my friends anymore. Dont get me wrong; I like my friends, they are nice and they make funny jokes. Im gonna quickly introduce you:
    A is a quiet person but when she's in the right mood and with the right people, she can be very loud.
    B... well B is always really loud and I actually used to be her loud partner
    And C is more of an 'I like you guys but I am better off on my own'-person.
    I always thought that I would be the center of my 3 good friends, but the fact that I can be quiet the whole day and they dont notice, made me die inside. Normally I am very outgoing and loud but they dont even notice when I am the complete oppsite. And now I am questioning, next to the sexualtiy and who I really am, if that ever was a real friendship or when it broke.
    And that is the story of how I started to not like my friends anymore and feel like I'm alone.
    Sorry if that became a little long.
     
  2. DietCoke

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    I hope this doesn't come across as mean but it seems to me from what you wrote that it isn't your friends that you don't like. The only negative thing you wrote about any of them are things about yourself. I see that you feel they aren't paying attention to you but if you're being quiet they may assume you want space. You can't assume that people can read your mind and know that you are upset. OR maybe make new friends if you feel like there's no connection there at all. I know that is a lot easier said then done but there's no good reason to hang around people who you honestly feel don't care about you at all.
     
  3. Aspen

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    Like DietCoke said, they may just assume that you want space. Do you usually share things that are bothering you without them having to ask? If so, they might have noticed you're abnormally quiet and think that you don't want to talk about it.

    Is there someone that you can go to talk to? A counselor, perhaps?
     
  4. MayaBee

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    I basically share everthing with them - negative things as well as positive things. Actually I am very close to them, but when holidays ended, I didnt just feel like I was diappointed, I also felt like they didnt care. When I told them about my holidays, they didnt really listen and I feel like they dont have any interest in me anymore. I understand that they could think I want space, but even when I try to not be so disappointed and laugh about the jokes and take part in the conversation, I feel like all they want is get rid of me. Sure they laugh, but I dont feel like they want me. Or maybe I dont want them. I dont know.

    There sure would be people I could talk to, but nobody I would want to talk to about that.