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Confusing crushes

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by britishbakura, Oct 24, 2015.

  1. britishbakura

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    liverpool
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    So I met this girl,let's just call her C,we've been friends for maybe a year and half and I'm majorly crushing on her.

    She's been through some tough shit in her life and I'm pretty sure she suffers from depression like me I asked her out once and we went out for a week but she ultimately told me that she thought she was ready for a relationship and she wasn't...I'm fine with that entirely I understand what it's like when you fool yourself into being ready for something.

    It's been about six months since that and we are really close,to the point where I think we act like we love eachother everybody think we are dating...but we are not.I've always been unlucky in love or just terrible at romance everybody I've gone out with has told me they did it because they felt sorry for me because I was so lonely.

    I really really fucking like her but I don't know what to do anymore.
    I want to ask her out but could her feelings have changed?:help:
     
  2. Kaboom

    Full Member

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    They did it because they felt sorry for you? Well, damn. Stay away from that. That's a terrible reason. Good intentions or not, that's stupid.

    If she wasn't ready, she wasn't ready. I think it's good that she was honest with you. Good of you to be understanding. I think you should talk to her about it. You deserve to know where you stand and if this will go anywhere. She may be more open to the relationship now that some time has passed and you guys have gotten to know each other better.

    You'll find yourself even more lonely in this situation than if you were just alone, you know? You need some answers and a cat. Cats are good company.
     
  3. Endymion

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Out to everyone
    You know this happened to me with an ex a few years ago where the exact same thing happened (although it was a boy and boy relationship) and it turns out we ended up together without even saying it...

    In other words, we just acted like friends for months, became extremely in close, then romantic things happen extremely naturally (and realistically, not very forced).

    However, in your case - you don't have any clarification, or any thought about 'what's up'.

    Frankly, and to be honest with you - I know this is just the worst thing to do (because we'd all be super nervous and embarrased to do it) - have you ever just thought about talking to her and saying 'so hey? what's up with us?'

    You know why? Because you will get 2 versions of an answer - but both will make you happy, and here is why.

    1 - She tells you that she likes you, and she's developed romantic feelings for you - because you guys have gotten so close. HOZAH. Happy days, time to celebrate!

    2 - She says she doesn't have any feelings but she doesn't want to wreck what you guys have. DO NOT SEE THIS AS A BAD THING. She will let you down extremely gently because you guys are close, and she really does enjoy your company. Why are you attribiting lonelyness to being single or not for example? Isn't it good that you have a best friend / close friend? See it that way!

    Regardless buddy - best wishes!
     
    #3 Endymion, Oct 24, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2015