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Bisexual best friend wanted to have sex with me

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Powerz, Oct 25, 2015.

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  1. Powerz

    Powerz
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    Hey, my best friend who is bisexual, has a girlfriend and he was to propose at Christmas to her and she quite over protective but they are madly in love. Anyway me and him have become very close and we keeped talking and we keeped joking about thats she very protective of him she is. we've had beer and meaningful conversations before, and we've spent hours on talking to each other also so we are very close. So on a Sunday, me and him were joking around on having a sleepover, getting drunk and have a 'sword fight' on friday. we kept talking about it and we said it would be a good idea, we keeped adding more sexual stuff like sucking each other and give each other hand jobs. Me and him were talking about how comfortable we would be and how we would do it and we said we would keep it a secret from his girlfriend, he didn't count it as cheating even after I said it wouldn't a good idea. he then brought up sex...he said he wanted to being receiving because he would never get it. I was very reluctant but he said he wouldn't tell anyone.

    So we got to Wednesday and I had to tell someone because I was sure I fell in love with him. I told my close women friend and she 'promised' not to tell anyone. It was Thursday and suddenly his girlfriend messaged me and I panicked. he had stopped messaging me, his girlfriend hates me.. (she hated him for a few hours then they shagged and it was fine again) , my close friend ignores me because shes me. I've said sorry to everyone, I've personally said to him and his girlfriend I'm sorry. I've created loads of destruction in my wake, like he self-harmed and wanted to kill himself. I'm the one being blamed by 65% of people and the other 35% think its his fault.

    I cant stop thinking about it, I didn't want to tell anyone but I was gonna lose it...after this I've wanted to kill myself, what can I do...is there a possible end to this hell without killing mysef :help: :icon_sad:
     
    #1 Powerz, Oct 25, 2015
  2. Kaboom

    Kaboom
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    I'm really sorry you're feeling the way you feel. I know it seems really horrible right now, but it's not worth your life. It really isn't. It will get better.

    I don't agree with the 65/35. I think your friend is extremely selfish. I do not get how he thinks that didn't count as cheating. If he wanted to experiment with his sexuality, he should have been open with his girlfriend about everything going on in his head. That's a shitty best friend, honestly. You're better off. Stay away from people like that. They are toxic.

    To be completely honest, you screwed up. You were reluctant because you knew it was wrong. It was a ''bad'' idea because that's someone's boyfriend. You've apologized, that's pretty much all you can do. You're going to have to go through that bit of hell now, you kinda had it coming. BUT we all make mistakes and it's normal to feel the way you do. You're human. You feel bad about it. It will get better though, I promise. It's all really raw right now, but things will settle. Learn from this.

    Did all this happen while you guys were drunk?

    Oh and... I highly doubt they are ''fine''

    And has he apologized to you?

    Like I said before... it isn't worth your life, at all. A horrible mistake. The hell will end. Just hang in there.
     
    #2 Kaboom, Oct 25, 2015
  3. robclem21

    robclem21
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    I agree with everything that was said above. I'm not sure what stage of life you are at (high school, college, after, etc.), but this kind of thing and drama is unbelievably common across all stages. It is something that a lot of people go through at some point in your life and its these types of situations where you can learn and better yourself. It certainly isn't something that is worth self-harming over. Rather, take this experience and use it as an opportunity to grow from your mistakes and figure out what can be done next time to avoid a similar situation.

    I think the only reason that more people are against you than siding with you is because you are the one who actually took action and said something. If you didn't say anything and everyone only knew the thought process behind everything, almost 100% would agree that he wants to cheat on his gf and would be on your side. However, as his best friend it is also your responsibility to set boundaries as well and respect things he wants to be kept confidential. Maybe the best thing to do would have been to talk to him about how you feeling rather than a third person. That way the two of you could have talked about since it doesn't seem that there is much off limits between you.

    It will pass with time. Maybe he will talk to you again, maybe not, maybe they will stay together, maybe they will break up, maybe a million things could happen, but in the meantime, it's okay. Just know that you're not alone and that it will get better with some time in one way or another. Hang in there :slight_smile:
     
    #3 robclem21, Oct 25, 2015
  4. Powerz

    Powerz
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    he was drunk for one of those nights and no...he stopped talk when he found out....which hurts to be honest

    ---------- Post added 25th Oct 2015 at 06:34 AM ----------
    yeah I'm in high school, which makes everything 100x worse
     
    #4 Powerz, Oct 25, 2015
  5. scub

    scub
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    i personally would axe this "women friend" out of your life who you shared this secret with. people like that are shallow. in the future learn from your mistakes, best friends NEVER reveal secrets to anyone, especially to a female because they tend to love gossiping..
     
    #5 scub, Nov 2, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2015
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