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Just a slight dilemma...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Rainbows~Exist, Oct 25, 2015.

  1. Rainbows~Exist

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    So I've been talking to this guy for about three weeks, meet him in person once, and I really like him (and I'm pretty sure that the feeling is mutual ^-^). However, there is a slight problem...

    I'm only sixteen. I don't want a serious relationship. He does . I'd only be happy if it were to be an open relationship or a friends with benefits type thing but anything other than that just doesn't appeal to me. I want to live life while I'm still young. I don't want to be, for want of a better phrase, 'tied down' in a relationship at my age. Call me young and stupid, naive and foolish but at this point in my life I just want to mess around with guys; which sucks because he says that he couldn't function in an open relationship.

    I didn't want to lead him on or hurt him in any way so I told him about my petty desires and whatnot and to my surprise he was fine with it... quite surprised but that was to be expected. However my problem lies within the fact that I really like him yet want to screw around with other people in the meantime. I sounds bad but hey. That's just me. He said he's not bothered about it but it still feels wrong and unfair towards him; even though we're technically not together. Thoughts?
     
  2. Kaboom

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    If he wants a serious relationship, let him off the hook. There's no way that would work.

    Hey, at least you're honest.

    You never know... maybe right now the thought of being ''tied down'' doesn't sound appealing. What if you really fell for him though? That might change how you feel about messing around with other guys. BUT what if that's what he hopes happens and it never does? What if he falls for you and wants more? You'd be in an even bigger dilemma.

    If he feels like he couldn't function in an open relationship then don't give him the opportunity to try and fail. If you really like him, don't hurt him.

    And off topic... your avatar... I totally have that picture on my phone ha. I used it to be cute and clever once.

    ---------- Post added 25th Oct 2015 at 05:43 PM ----------

    Oh... and if something feels wrong, that's usually because it is. Trust your gut.
     
  3. Shadymist

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    That's really great you were so honest and up front with him.

    I'm with Kaboom; I think that if you meet a person you really connect with, it could make messing around with other people seem less appealing. I get it though-dating other people can help you learn what you like and don't like in relationships and give you more insight into who you are.

    As for it feeling wrong to mess with other people-you probably feel that way because you care for him and you know he cares for you. It hurts to think you're letting someone down who's close to you. I was talking to someone in the past and broke it off with him after a short time because I knew I wanted to date women and see how that went for me. I realized how serious he was about me, and I got scared because I felt I needed to know more about my orientation before I could get in a serious relationship. I was uncomfortable being exclusive despite liking him, because I had too many questions for myself still. I didn't want to hurt him if I found I needed to be with a woman.

    I would say, if you really feel the need to explore yourself more, don't start a relationship with this person right now. He deserves to be with someone who wants the same things as he does. So do you. If you need to date several people to figure yourself out, go for it, just make sure who you date is on the same page too. Maybe later, you guys will still have feelings, and feel ready to get together. If not, there will eventually be someone who stands out to you above all others and you'll know it's right for you.
     
  4. Rainbows~Exist

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    Just wanted to say thank you. You guys have really helped to shed light on my situation and for that I'm really thankful (*hug*)