So one of my best friends has always been clingy and touchy-feely. She's like that with lots of people, but especially me, it seems like. She's always commenting on my appearance, always right next to me, and always wants me to hug her or even cuddle. We also say we love each other because we've been friends for a couple of years and we're comfortable with that. Last year, she said something along the lines of, "Based on the way I act, I can understand how someone might think that I'm actually in love with you. I'm not at all." Later, she told me she would never ever make out with me. Well, here comes the confusing part. Today she mentioned that she totally regrets saying that. Could my ridiculously flirty-with-everyone friend just be complimenting me? (It would fit into the context of the conversation.) Or was she serious? As far as she knows, I'm straight.
Hm. It could very well be that she's confused about her sexuality, and she feels attached to you. I would do a little more investigating.I have a lot of female friends that are very touchy with me. I had one female friend that liked to burrow her face in my chest and use my arm like a pillow, but it never meant she liked me that way. She knew I was gay and just enjoyed the closeness. I will say that it's interesting that she regretted saying that she would never make out with you. That's a sign. Question is: do you even like her in that way? Do you want a relationship with her?
I think that for both our sakes, a relationship might be a bad idea. I'm afraid she'd be more anxious and stressed, and I don't know that I'm ready to be out to everyone. However, we certainly have chemistry, and as I said, I love her! It's tempting to take it beyond the platonic.
Hmm... well, in that case, I wouldn't try to play around with this topic too much, unless you see that she is struggling sexually. If you really think a relationship is a bad idea, that is. Be there to support her if/when she comes out to you, but make it clear from the beginning that you're not looking for a relationship, or else she'll get really hurt. I've been on the opposite side of this relationship. I came out to a guy that I liked, but he strung me along for several months before I had to figure out for myself that he wasn't attracted to me. It made me feel hurt and it wasted a lot of my time. Right now, we're great friends, but it would have been nice to be rejected so that I could have moved on a lot earlier.
I'm thinking that I'll just be subtly clear that I wouldn't care about her sexuality. And once I come out to my mom, I'll come out to her. And maybe, just maybe, she'll come out to me too and we can have a candid conversation about this matter and if her flirting meant anything.
My best friend is very clingy/jealous/touchy feely. I came out to her first, and then after that, and still now, she constantly jokes about us being lesbians. She's in a very committed relationship with a guy, and though I'd never want to be with her (we'd kill each other), there are things that even before I knew I was queer, could be read as sexual and/or flirty towards me. Some people just like to act that way, maybe they like to closeness, or whatever -- but I wouldn't take it too seriously. However, since she said that thing about the kissing you, I'd look into it a little further, if you want to. Since you would be sort of interested in taking it further, next time she says something off beat like that, just candidly ask her, or be like, "are you serious because we can make out right now?" in a joking tone. Or something along those lines, unless you don't want to be with her at all. I would just say tread lightly so YOU don't get hurt. When my friend acts like that, or makes comments about us being lesbians, ESPECIALLY after I came out, I just started ignoring shit she'd say or laugh with her about it. Also made it super clear that us being together would be disgusting because we're like sisters. So, it's really not the same circumstance as you, but it's easy to misconstrue things that people say.
Update: she's trying to set me up with a guy but seems almost jealous, if that makes any sense. I could just be inventing this subconsciously. Also update: she's extremely desperate for affection/attention, and for her that's physical. At our cast party, we both got really tired and ended up sort of cuddling (not spooning) and listening to classical music. To be perfectly honest, I think I could make out with her tomorrow and she would be completely into it. But I'm afraid that's just her physical need and that she could never actually like me romantically.
My best friend and I kind of act like we are dating. I love her platonically, but if she wanted a romantic relationship I doubt I would mind. I was upset about my best friend dating and felt jealous when I saw her with her boyfriend, but that is me. Sometimes people just take not caring as not either not "yes" or "no", so it might just be her way of saying she wouldn't mind. Granted, I can only speculate. She just might love you platonically or something and doesn't like others getting your attention. Cuddling could mean that she is at least sensually or aesthetically attracted to you. It depends on individuals and each relationship.
Omg yaaaas. Get in there! I was reading this whole thread like "this is exactly how I used to act and what I used to say when I was being sort of half oblivious in my bargaining about my sexuality... and now I know obviosuly I'm queer as fuck". Like I totally used to do this stuff. It doesn't surprise me that she turned out to be bi.
that's awesome! You're friend sounds exactly like my friend, except my friend keeps telling me she's straight
