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Emerging feelings for my bff: Blame it on the alcohol or is it something deeper?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Taeny, Nov 1, 2015.

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  1. Taeny

    Taeny
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    I'm 20, female and would define myself as bi-curious for now. To begin, I attended a halloween party with my bff and our common friends this weekend, we went to a club. Prior to going we pre-drank a lot and everyone was really drunk. So when we arrived to the club there was a huge lineup and it was really freezing outside and we were dressed up poorly/slutty considering the weather outside. So one of our male friend lended me his coat and i shared it with my bff by cuddling with her. At some point, her back was pinned down against the wall as I was really close facing her and I started rubbing her arms and back. That's when I started having sexual feelings for her, her body was against mine, her face was at 1cm from mine, her perfume was driving me crazy. I just wanted to kiss her.

    I've never had sexual desires towards her before, i love her but only in a friendly way and I know she is straight. We are close but we never cuddle or anything like that usually. I know myself and I know when I am falling for someone, but this situation is really confusing me. When I'm drunk im pretty much careless about anything and just go for anyone without having any romantic feelings, but my bff got me questioning if i might be in love with her now.

    We stayed in that position for a good 30min and i kept rubbing her arms & back. After, we switched position I was back hugging her still rubbing her arms, sometimes her boobs, which I would have NEVER DONE sobber. Oddly enough she didn't say anything and even seemed to enjoy it so did I. This lasted for about 20min.

    I am wondering if anyone experienced something similar for a friend while drunk, and if it meant that there were something deeper or is it something that you feel in the moment and it goes away ? And is it normal that my bff didn't mind me rubbing her boobs even though she is straight and has never done anything with a girl, because I know her and normally she would not have let a girl rub her boobs sobber or drunk, considering that she is very easy while drunk but only with boy, which surprised me.
     
    #1 Taeny, Nov 1, 2015
  2. confusedbubble

    confusedbubble
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    Maybe there is something deeper as a friend said to me you can't help who you fall for or when you fall.
    Sounds like you both need a conversion about what happened she maybe into you and just nervous about admitting it.

    Maybe next time see about sleeping over at her house or her stay at yours after clubbing see if things progress from there
     
    #2 confusedbubble, Nov 1, 2015
  3. SHACH

    SHACH
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    Yep, similar deal (minus boob touching) with me and my friend. We aren't BFFs I haven't been friends with her for very long. We have been drunk together twice now and both times I've been unable to stop touching her and really just wanted to make a move especially the first time which was at a house party when she started talking about marrying a woman before we crawled into sleeping bags on the living room floor next to each other and we kept talking in the dark with our noses almost touching - i really felt like kissing her. And the second time when I had to leave the party and she was holding me and wouldn't let me leave until we had danced to cool for the summer together which had just come on, I felt similar and almost said "I love you" instead of "see you" as I was breaking free and leaving (reluctantly) haha.

    I was still thinking about it while sober and trying to work out whether I was falling for her and then a couple of things happened: 1. She was getting all made-up and ready for something and wouldn't tell me what it was one day and just the thought that she was going on a secret date or something made me furious; 2. She had some bad stuff going on (not gonna go into her bussiness) and wouldn't quite talk to me about it but kept crying and I was hurting for her so hard that I was thinking about it all day every day trying to work out how to make her happy again because I loved the way she smiled and how much joy she usually filled me with... These things made me sort of realise that I felt more deeply for her. However, I have no idea how she feels or if she likes girls at all apart from the drunken speech about wanting to marry a woman. I definitely haven't tried touching her boobs so I dunno if shes down with that lol. All I know is that I have a big crush on her and that may be unrequited.

    I think to work out whether it's a deeper feeling you have to observe whether you're thinking romantically about her while sober too. Not necessarily in exctly the same way as when drunk but romantically somehow. If not, then a lot of things seem fun while drunk, and that doesn't always mean much. You also need to work out the same thing about your BFF, which is harder. Does she actually still sort of like the idea of you touching her boobs while sober or not? I dunno how you work that out, sorry.
     
    #3 SHACH, Nov 1, 2015
  4. Taeny

    Taeny
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    Thanks for your outputs, very much appreciated:slight_smile:
    I spent the past days thinking and assessing my feelings for her and I've reached to the conclusion that there's indeed deeper feelings that are not platonic. I mean there's a reason behind why I cherish her more than any of my other friends, why I put so much effort to keep her happy. Notwithstanding, I won't do anything about it and just let things flow as they normally would and see where it leads us. Guess it is true that alcohol brings out the truth.

    Also I'm debating whether i should talk to her about the boob rubbing situation, because if I bring it up and she doesn't remember what happened that would be suppperrr awkward. So I think ill just let it slide cuz I'm too scared to confront her about it:icon_redf
     
    #4 Taeny, Nov 3, 2015
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