1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Will they let me adopt?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Secrets5, Nov 1, 2015.

  1. Secrets5

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2015
    Messages:
    1,964
    Likes Received:
    77
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hello,

    It took a lot of time for two mums or two dads to be able to adopt, and some people still think that a child will have incorrect socialization if they do not have both genders.

    However, I'm not a mum or a dad and refuse to have my children, adopted or biological, call me 'Mum' just because I gave them the egg [or didn't if adoption]. Any 'identity problems' people think they will have is just them not accepting the fact that some people don't have a gender, I'll be a good parent, gender or not doesn't matter.

    But will they let me adopt as agender? [Even if it's not legal yet, I still don't want to be seen as a 'mum' or 'dad'.]

    You see, society hasn't progressed, it's just that what is/isn't accepted changes overtime. Sometimes I feel like a criminal, even if it isn't against the law.

    Thank-you.
     
  2. wanderinggirl

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2013
    Messages:
    1,189
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    I'm not sure what the laws are. It'd be nice if they just said "parent" on the form instead of "mom" or "dad" right? It'd make sense too, instead of having 4 forms each for a specific permutation of binary genders. I'd say that if your legal identifying documents (passport drivers license etc) allow you to identify as agender then adoption should be under the same rules.

    If they don't allow parents to identify as agender, the question is, eventually, whether being recognized for your gender is more important or less important than having the opportunity to raise an adopted child. Both are very important of course; sometimes you have to make the choice that's better for you (and of course for your child); would you be willing to sacrifice an agender designation for the sake of a legally-recognized form?

    I also want to add that it's complete bullcrap that being agender makes you feel like a criminal. But the problem is (obviously) society and not your identity.
     
  3. Secrets5

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2015
    Messages:
    1,964
    Likes Received:
    77
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    It's not bull----, I have no box to tick, it feels like I fit nowhere. Don't tell me how I feel.

    And yes, it is important, why does a child need a ''mum'' or ''dad'' - why not just a loving parent? I've got recent historical evidence to support me, but I guess each new thing takes it's time. Besides, you wouldn't like it if someone told you [pre 11 years ago] ''to be straight just so you can adopt''.
     
    #3 Secrets5, Nov 3, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2015
  4. wanderinggirl

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2013
    Messages:
    1,189
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    i'm not saying it's bull that you feel that way; I meant it the other way around. I'm angry for you that there is no legal recognition in this case for your identity.