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How do I accept myself?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by bridgek, Nov 1, 2015.

  1. bridgek

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    So lately I've been trying to come out to more of my friends because I don't like lying to them. The friends I have come out to have been really cool about it and when I hang it with them I always feel really good and like I'm being true to myself. However, whenever I leave that small group I get really insecure and uncomfortable. I'm not comfortable at all and I get really afraid of anybody else finding out about me. I also adopt this mindset, which I know is super unhealthy, of if I find the right guy I can settle for that and be fine. But when I'm with my friends I know who I am and wonder why I haven't come out to everyone
    I just feel so unsure and ashamed of myself when faced with the real world.... How or when did you guys accept yourself and feel good enough to come out to everyone?
     
  2. Guelito

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    I was like you. I inched out slowly, coming out to my close friends and then my family. I remember getting up the nerve to tell two of my friends on a 10 hour drive from California to Oregon and I spent almost the whole car ride getting up the nerve to tell them. They were joking about something and I think it was 7 or 8 hours into the ride when I finally told them I was gay lol. I never felt it was easy to tell people I was gay. It made me nervous for a long time, but I just kept doing it because it was easier to tell them then for them to find out some other way or for me to keep hiding it. It has gotten alot easier now that I have been out to everyone for a while. I just wanted to say, I don't think it gets easier and then you do it, I think you do it and it gets easier but don't be too hard on yourself about it.
     
  3. Kaboom

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    I agree with Guelito "I think you do it and it gets easier"

    I had a pretty ideal coming out experience as far as coming out to my family and friends. The struggles I had were all internally, in my head. It took time.

    I get how free you feel when you're around those people that know WHO YOU ARE. It's a wonderful feeling. I've been out and free for quite some time now. I will say it's still a little awkward to tell someone that I'm a lesbian. And it doesn't have a whole lot to do with me. It's harder to find the opportunity to say it, you know? I think what makes it so awkward is that it feels so random sometimes lol. I've been invited out by a coworker and introduced to a guy friend one too many times.

    But being out, being true to yourself... that's so important. That unsure feeling will fade. The more open you are, the easier it gets. Allow yourself time to get comfortable with it. It doesn't happen overnight. I've learned that most people don't care that I'm a lesbian. They don't. Just like I don't care that they are straight. I don't want to be set up with guys anymore lol and letting them know I am a lesbian really helps with that. :lol:
     
  4. bridgek

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    Thank you so much! You're awesome and this gives me hope. And I get set up with giysr alot too lol...

    ---------- Post added 3rd Nov 2015 at 01:07 AM ----------

    That's a crazy story! I'm really glad that it's gotten easier for you and I know that it will for me someday too. Thanks so much!
     
  5. wanderinggirl

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    Taken me 3 years to get remotely comfortable. I was struggling with a lot of internalized homophobia and feeling like my feelings weren't legitimate. But at the end of the day coming out took a huge burden off, and I feel like it just gets easier with time to bring up my girlfriend. First thing I had t get used to was the idea that I had nothing to hide; then I had to get used to the fact that I wanted to tell EVERYONE! I'm pretty unabashedly out now, but I still get nervous in professional situations.