I can sense it in our stare. The way we look at each other. Do I trust this vibe, because when we speak we look dead into each others eyes for pretty long and then one of us usually breaks it off. She seems anti-lesbian, fine with gay guys but when it comes to lesbians seems to have a problem or makes a rude comment My friend brought this up today and said its weird (let's say the girl I likes names Alicia) that Alicia is so anti-lesbian, I actually think she's gay though and then I said wait what?? And she said haha don't worry She's so touchy with girls, me in particular, grabs my thigh, my hand, strokes my arm - always a joke though Once asked me to be her girlfriend (as a joke) in a sarcastic way whilst at a party and we spent majority of the night together Very sporty, prefers to hang with the guys rather then the girls You know when your gaydar goes off because of the way someone moves/walks/even behaves in general? That's what happens around her She's been with guys, never sexually though, always short relationships, end weirdly, never been further than a kiss, never has seemed interested in them - even friends have Brought this up but because their straight they think Alicia doesn't like the guy because he's not popular or good looking enough. Not to sound pretentious AT ALL but our group is considered at school to be the popular one, and most of our friends are quite homophobic e.g one once said "ew look at those dykes over there" Alicia's never made comments like this to an extent but I remember so many instances she's Brought up lesbianish sort of things, I don't think she even realises it herself What do you do with someone like this? It's been two years, I don't know whether to really fight for her and show a massive signal that I like her because if she did like me she must be confused as fuck with myself as I have had sex with guys (all horrible experiences) even had a boyfriend too (horrible aswell) But lately I'm trying to be myself more, dressing how I want, indicating sort of that I'm not interested in guys This guy was interested in me and we talked for a while not long ago but of coarse I cut it off and she used to ask so what's happening with him, do you still talk? Do I fight for her fully, or do I ignore her (possibly confuse her more) and see how she acts I'm torn. I think she's petrified of her sexuality, the thought of being gay amongst so many popular straight girls who are all our friends must scare her (if she really is gay) What do I do and do you think she likes me???
This sounds like a very confused girl whether she is gay or not it's not acceptable to be insensitively homophobic around gays so I think that ignoring her for a while and if she asks why you're distant coming upfront with her that you re not comfortable with her comments can be a way of letting her know whats going on here. I don't know if you openly gay in front of her or if you're ok with telling her yet but just letting her know you again homophobia for the moment works. From there you would know which direction this would go. good luck
She doesn't know I'm gay nor does anyone I know. I've come out to one person and that was a gay guy at a party due to me being insanely drunk :/ Other than that I'm very closeted and quite femme so people would never really assume Thanks for the advice though
What to do with someone like that... That's tough. How well do you know her personally? Do you two hang out together one on one? I would focus more on getting to know her better. I'd focus more on the friendship, build some trust. Maybe she will open up to you more. Maybe she will share things with you she isn't comfortable sharing with the rest of ''the group''. Honestly, I have no idea if she likes you like that or not. I didn't read anything all that tangible in your post. You said she seems anti-lesbian... what rude comments has she made? What opted her to make them? If someone is homophobic, that phobia is usually towards all gays, not just one gender. So it could be some form of denial on her part. I think it also gives you a door. You could ask her why she's ok with gay guys and not lesbians. It is pretty interesting and wouldn't show your cards too much. I've known a few straight guys that think lesbians are hot, but are somewhat disgusted by gay guys. So, if she's straight, maybe it works the other way around as well.
I had a friend that was anti gay and lesbian she pinged my gaydar and over time it actually annoyed me what she said we got quite close and I asked why she was against lesbians and gays and she didn't have an answer. We grew apart because of her comments I wasn't out then after I was out around a year all of a sudden I find out she's dating a girl, she was deep in the closet and has removed herself from social media to try mask what was going on. Maybe you just need to try become better friends away from the group and see what happens as others have said she may open up to you
