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Do I just think too much? Is she where I'm at?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by TDubbz, Nov 2, 2015.

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  1. TDubbz

    TDubbz
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    I know I over think things, but I can't shake the feeling that my girlfriend isn't in the same place I am..I know without a doubt that I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with her...I've even told her that and she's always changed the subject...im more of an emotional person than she is...more and more in having these thoughts like does she actually LOVE me or is it a convenience type of thing...or..I don't know...do I just try to shut my brain off?? I don't really have any one to talk to, so thank you in advance for reading...
     
    #1 TDubbz, Nov 2, 2015
  2. Steve FS

    Steve FS
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    How long have you guys been together?

    Some people just take a little bit more time to develop that love, and that's okay. I wouldn't doubt her loyalty or affection for you, and I would try to keep off of the whole marriage subject. It has a tendency to scare people away, unfortunately :/
     
    #2 Steve FS, Nov 2, 2015
  3. TDubbz

    TDubbz
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    We've only been together 8 months and I'm well aware that that isn't a long time. I fell hard and fast. I just wonder why my thoughts keep veering toward the negative?? Like I'm totally happy with her, but why is that little voice telling me that I wont get to keep her?
     
    #3 TDubbz, Nov 2, 2015
  4. Kaboom

    Kaboom
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    8 months is a hell of a long time in a lesbian relationship :lol: This is the part where I tell you the joke about lesbians bringing a U-Haul on their second date. Maybe it's the third date.

    I agree with stevefs and what he said about staying off of the marriage subject. She doesn't sound like a U-Haul lesbian.

    Marriage aside, do you two talk about the future? Do you know her feelings about marriage in general? Some people don't care/don't want to ever get married and that doesn't mean they don't want/intend to spend the rest of their life with someone.

    I think your thoughts veer to the negative because you feel a little rejected. I think it's natural to feel the way you do. But like Stevefs said, it doesn't mean she doesn't love you.

    And on the bright side... she could be filling your head with all the things you want to hear, but she isn't. I think it's good of her to at least not be doing that. Changing the subject isn't being entirely honest though. Have you ever asked her why she changes the subject? Have you talked to her about any of this?

    If she's not in the same place you are, that's ok. Maybe she's still catching up :slight_smile: And if the marriage subject is the only issue you have with her, that's not so bad. Enjoy being with her. Enjoy the relationship. Let things grow. Build on what you have right now. Let her catch up.

    ---------- Post added 2nd Nov 2015 at 10:43 PM ----------

    I also wanted to add... and I don't know if this will help...

    I always go into dating/relationships with the assumption that that person wants the same things that I do. Whether it's with me or not... they want something real. They want real love and aren't out to waste anyone's time. I believe that until they prove otherwise. It puts my mind at ease.
     
    #4 Kaboom, Nov 2, 2015
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