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When your crush de-friendzones you (?)

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Daffyd, Nov 3, 2015.

  1. Daffyd

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Amsterdam
    Gender:
    Male
    Hello,
    I can't believe I'm even writing this. It's so embarrassing and silly.

    Let's start off by giving a little bit of context. I'm a young adult who is a virgin and has never even kissed before. I'm four months out of the closet. I'm also struggling with some anxiety issues that have caused me to move back home and start therapy (again, *sigh*) very recently.

    Right. Here goes. I met someone at a party about a month and a half ago. It was an activity organized by a gay christian organization and we really clicked. Identical sense of humor, really funny, even a little flirting (that's a big deal to me. Never happened before). The problem was that he was about seven years older than me.

    Anyway, like the impulsive person I am I ask him out after a few days chatting on Facebook. He friend-zones me saying I'm too young. Now, for some really stupid reason I thought it would be a good idea to continue chatting, you know, as 'friends'. So we did, for about four weeks. I know, I was being really dumb.

    Then the whole panic disorder/moving back home (my parents live abroad) thing ensued, which kind of made me decide to break off contact. Despite talking about meeting up back then I decided not to, seeing I had, er, *other* priorities at the time. I did tell him all about my panic disorder in the time before I moved though, which probably makes the whole thing worse.


    Two weeks later things seem to be going a little better with me, and all of a sudden I open my Facebook and find he's messaged me: 'hey, are you all right? I miss you.'

    Now, even if this is not going over the 'just friends' boundary (something I'm highly dubious of, but still, it could be true), what am I supposed to do? Even back when we were still chatting he'd occasionally come off as a little flirty. I'm new at all this and really quick to fall in love an all that, so I decided to stop talking to him because it was so confusing. I kept going back and fourth with my feelings, which was an additional point of stress I couldn't afford to pour energy into. I don't want to be a :***: though, and just ditch him either.

    What do I do?