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Will she ever let me make her come ?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ruglud, Nov 3, 2015.

  1. ruglud

    Regular Member

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    Hello there!

    So.. the thing is. I have been seeing this girl for about two or three months now.. And I really do like her a lot. We took things slow, went on a few dates before the first kiss and didn't to have sex for the first time until last week. I had been waiting to take the first move because she is pretty shy and I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. So this past saturday we were out with friends and had a good talk. We talked about that we had been dating for quite some time and still not slept together. She told me that she really wanted to and I told her the same thing. However she also told me that she liked to be the giver in bed and didn't want me to touch her "down there" at least not yet. She got really emotional while telling me this and started crying. I told her she didn't have to worry about me doing something she did not want me to do and that I would respect her and her wishes.
    Later that night we had sex for the first time and it was really great. I liked it a lot, but it makes me feel bad that I cant satisfy her as she does to me. She told me that she can get off just by making me feel good.

    I don't know why I feel so weird about this. I do want her too feel good and to able to give her an orgasm. I guess it's just new to me that someone doesn't like being touched. Don't get me wrong.. I will respect her wish regarding this, but there is some part of me that really wants to make her come too. I do hope that she just needs time and someday I will get to give her something in return :slight_smile:

    Is there anyone out there who has been through the same thing? How did it go and do you have any tips about what I can do to make her feel good without touching her "down there" ?
     
  2. Kaboom

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    Sex isn't all about he orgasm. I understand how you feel though. You want to make her feel as good as she makes you feel.

    I haven't been through the same thing exactly. I will say that my ex seemed to have a hard time understanding that I could be completely satisfied just giving her the attention. Don't get me wrong, I liked being on the receiving end as well. There were times where I wanted it to be all about her, and believe me, there was plenty of satisfaction in it for me as well. It wasn't necessary for her to turn around and ''do me'' so to speak, you know? I say all that so that maybe you'll feel less like you're not giving her anything in return. You are.

    She said ''yet'' Have you guys talked about why she doesn't want to be touched? Has she ever been touched? If she got really emotional and everything, something might be up. She might not be ready to open up about it. I would continue to take it slow.

    As far as making her feel good without touching her ''down there''. What I said above is one. Two... I would say epic make out sessions with some grinding are pretttttty faaaantastic.
     
    #2 Kaboom, Nov 3, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2015
  3. Steve FS

    Regular Member

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    Haha, oh gosh. I can relate to this so much.

    I'm not in your position. Rather, I'm in the opposite. I enjoy doing the pleasing and making the other person feel good. I do not get aroused by receiving pleasure. I can do sex without finishing myself and just have the mental satisfaction that I was able to make someone else orgasm.

    I don't know about your partner, but for me, the issue has to do with control. I enjoy giving the pleasure because I like to be the dominant one. If I allow myself to be touched, I lose that control. I become vulnerable.

    It's something that I'm having to learn to get rid of, because I do like the physical feeling of an orgasm. I just have to know the other person very well and be very comfortable to allow them to touch me. So the only solution to this problem is time. Give her time to open up a little bit more.

    Does that makes sense? I hope that helps.
     
    #3 Steve FS, Nov 3, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2015
  4. DominantLezStud

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    Is she a stud?? Most studs I have talked to including myself are givers and hardly ever recieve. I agree with steve. It's a control thing. I can actually get off by getting someone else off