I am very confused about my feelings and my sexuality lately so fair warning: a lot of this will be rambling and might not be very coherent. I have fairly recently come out as bisexual. I have always been attracted to people of multiple genders but I recently have been more comfortable with myself and my identity. I have also been in a straight relationship for over two years. It has been a wonderful relationship, he is very good to me and he was very supportive when I came out to him. Lately our relationship is stagnant though. We don't have a lot to talk about and we fight a lot. We also live together and are constantly getting on each other's nerves (just little things). I am also feeling less and less attracted to him. I feel terrible saying that and I know that if he heard me say that it would crush him. But I also can't help it if I am being honest with myself. We haven't had sex in months and I know it starting to get to him. I also love and care about him a lot though. He has helped me through some of the hardest times in my life and I feel like I owe him a lot. Sometimes I wonder wether we are just going through a rough patch and need to work through it. To make matters more complicated I have a huge crush on a friend of mine. She is someone I met a few weeks ago and now she is all I can think about. I think about her so much it is distracting sometimes. Not in a predatory or creepy way. I think about going on dates with her and getting to know her better and doing things I love like going to concerts with her. And yes, sometimes I think about her erotically and fantasize about her, but as I said not in a creepy way. The more I think about her and get to know her the less I feel attracted to my partner. This makes me feel even worse and I feel so much guilt. It feels like I am cheating on him while he is so devoted and loving to me. So what do I do? I am also very dependent on him. We live together and I can't really afford to move out. He has helped me with health problems and supports me through a lot of difficult stuff. When I have tried to mention any of this he just cries and then I feel horrible and try to change things and make it up to him somehow. How do I deal with this? I don't want to hurt my partner but I also don't feel happy in this situation and I feel like it isn't fair to him either.
