:welcome: [Sorry, this first paragraph doesn't make much sense because I was just beginning to sort my thoughts] I started dating this one girl (that I've been chasing for many months) in April, so around six months by now. I liked her because she was so kind, but sometimes I feel like she only likes me because she was disappointed by a guy in the past and finally found someone to like her, but unfortunately, I was a girl. So after that complication, she agreed to begin dating me and I felt like I was dreaming. I was just freshly out of the closet and this just helped boost my confidence as a lesbian and feel more comfortable with who I was, and who I've been hiding for 15 years. But here's my confession: I can't stop thinking about this other girl. I know that I should feel lucky to even have the girlfriend that I have, I mean this other girl is actually rude to me (in a joking sort of way?) while my girlfriend would cry to see me hurt. But something about the other girl's rudeness, the way she makes the situation feel, it draws me in. And the thing that really doesn't get out of my head is that she seems to like me too. I swear to you that I'm not imagining this, because just recently, I was talking to my friend at the lunch table, and she always sits next to me, smirking as if she knows that I feel uncomfortable with her so close to me. I just laugh a little and keep talking to my friend while trying to ignore her. Now, usually my girlfriend sits with us at that table, but that one day, she had to go to the library. So the other girl, instead of normally bothering me by throwing food at me and trying to get me to pay attention to her, she does something that gets me to take her hand and hold it for a little longer than normal friends would. Then she didn't really bother with me again for the rest of lunch period and now I haven't seen her since then and I can't stop dreaming about her and thinking about her. I feel like she was thinking about that short moment where I held her hand to show that I don't feel uncomfortable with holding it. And showing that she stayed there a little while longer makes me think that she was thinking about it too. But then again, what do I know. Anyways, I feel really bad for doing this to my girlfriend, but I think I'm tired of how "in love" with me she is, I mean she almost seems blind to me. I want how the other girl makes me feel, like I'm in a high school relationship. Not in an engagement. Thoughts? Should I stop emotionally cheating on my girlfriend? Or what? I mean of course I shouldn't cheat on her like that, but I mean should I break up with her or forget the new girl, or... :bang: :help:
