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Concerned about friend's reaction to my coming out

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Hej, Nov 3, 2015.

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  1. Hej

    Hej
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    I recently told my friend from back home that I had relations with a girl. I haven't told many people about my sexual orientation and have kept it to close college friends. Where I'm from is a more conservative city but my friend seemed to always be the more accepting and open-minded one in high school, so that's why I decided I would tell her. She said that she was shocked and didn't know what to say or how to react. I told her that she didn't have to say anything if she didn't want to. She then said that she didn't want to say anything because she didn't want to offend me but that she would support me and that I should just "do me". She then didn't say anything else and I kind of ended the conversation. I'm kind of worried about what she said. I'm glad that she said she would support me but I'm wondering what she might have said that would have been offensive. I think she might be judging me. I'm regretting that I told her about myself now because I don't want our friendship to deteriorate. I'm really feeling upset at myself because I should have just kept my mouth shut. I'm usually a bit of a reserved person and don't normally share personal stuff like this. :icon_sad:
    Does anyone have any advice or would like to share similar experiences?
     
    #1 Hej, Nov 3, 2015
  2. ArcheryDude44

    ArcheryDude44
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    Hi there,
    From what it sounds like, I don't think she's judging you. I think that she said she didn't want to offend you because she wasn't sure what would and what wouldn't. She probably didn't want to take that risk of offending you. She might not understand this sort of thing.
    I think it's all going to be okay. Try to go back to how it used to be, if that's what you want.
    Good luck :slight_smile:
     
    #2 ArcheryDude44, Nov 4, 2015
  3. Hej

    Hej
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    Thanks for the reply ArcheryDude44! I think you're right. I kind of mulled over our conversation and I think that I might have read too much into what she said. I told her something that was a lot to take in at one time and she probably just needs to let it settle in her mind. Thanks for helping me out :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Hej, Nov 4, 2015
  4. resu

    resu
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    Good job coming out! Remember that you did nothing wrong. I think she may just be going through a process of coming to terms with your sexuality (many straight people are completely oblivious). Also, any negative feelings are something she might have learned from more conservative people; homophobia is the real lifestyle choice. I think she does value your friendship if she says she supports you, and it's likely she will become more supportive in the future.
     
    #4 resu, Nov 5, 2015
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