1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

In love with straight ex best friend or misguided feelings?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by novaastra, Nov 4, 2015.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. novaastra

    novaastra
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2015
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    ireland
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I've had the same best friend for 5/6 years and known her for nearly 8. We fought sooo much but we were so close. We cuddled while drunk and she would always hug me like be all over me and strip off infront of me, declaring her undying love for me. Saying that if i ever left her she couldn't survive etc I know this was just alcohol talking but anytime we got drunk, there was moments when I thought she was going to kiss me cause we were so close but she always said 'I'm not a lesbian." I did want to kiss her in those moments & can imagine myself kissing her in public which I don't even want to admit to myself. She got a boyfriend and we stopped being friends partly because she put him before me but she insisted 'I was jealous & couldn't be happy for her' I TRIED to still be her friend but we just didn't click anymore. All she talked about was sex/boys/babies. :bang:

    I think about her everyday and keep thinking of all the times he's gonna make her laugh and all the memories they're going to share. I've never thought of her sexually, it doesn't gross me out but when I see photos of her I just miss her so much even though it was such an unhealthy friendship & we actually don't even get along anymore. Seeing photos of her make my heart hurt(literally lol)
    If she didn't have a boyfriend, I would go to the ends of the earth to make our friendship work but I feel like I CAN'T DO IT when there's always someone being put before me. It still sucks though :frowning2: When she was with me she texted him constantly and invited him out with us. Then when I was at her place.. he shows up. That's what always caused the arguments. They've moved in together so I've not been back to her house.

    I'm just curious if people think this sounds like I was in love with her?
    I partly think I'm just holding onto the only affection I've had since I have no friends now. I think if I had friends, I could move on so much easier but I have nothing else to do than remember what it used to be like.

    Anyone who knew us thought we were together & when I explained how we're not friends anymore, people still say 'It sounds like you broke up or It sounds like a relationship" which we always said 'yes it was kind off, only without the sex' :confused:
     
    #1 novaastra, Nov 4, 2015
  2. Taeny

    Taeny
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2015
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Oh girl I am in a kinda similar situation just that i'm still friend with my bff. Just to give a bit of background, I have known her for a year & we only became really close recently, about 3 months ago?
    Back to the point, so my bff & I we never cuddled or anything but we are super close we strip in front of each other, go in the same washroom cabinet, etc. But during halloween this year I guess things got a bit more intimate due to alcohol( to point out it wasnt our first time drinking together since that's what we pretty much did all summer) we cuddled, I rubbed her boobs and wanted to kiss her. Anyway, I never considered loving her in a romantic way but rather loved her in a platonic way until that night were I started questioning my feelings.

    Long story short, I realized that I am indeed in love with her. Thinking back I would get jealous when she was talking to boys but also girls, so i brushed it off thinking it was just the bffs type of jealousy. However, I have another close friend who is in a relationship and I totally don't mind her ditching me for her boyfriend, so why am I only acting up like that with my bff? Moreover, like you I would give her the world if she asked me to. These clues showed me that I do have more than platonic feelings for her.

    So I definitely think that if you dig deep inside and question why you are so invested in this person, you will have to admit to yourself that indeed there is something more to it than just friendship. I mean there's a reason behind why you get jealous when she's with her boyfriend, why you want to kiss her, want to mend things even if you don't click anymore that you drifted apart, why you stuck up to her all these years, and that is in my opinion because you love her.You can't really help who you fall in love with and that's totally normal. Goodluck figuring it out :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Taeny, Nov 5, 2015
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)