I don't know what to do I'm going through the worst time of my life I'm in high school and I guess I love my friends I guess but half of them make homophobic jokes DAILY It hurts to hear every time and I usually stay silent I'm in love with a girl who I think feels the same way but is in deep denial and extremely scared (close friend) The way we look at each other says it all, I can sense it in her eyes and another close friend of mine even told me how she thinks my crush is gay because she's anti-lesbian, she's fine with gay guys but not with lesbians... She also gets quite defensive when people have joked and said she's gay... She's in a relationship now toon with a guy but does not seem the least bit interested and hasn't done anything besides kiss the bloke whilst all of our friends are having sex... It's like I can't imagine her being interested in the guy or wanting to herself Anywho. It's killing me. This secret of mine. I came out to one person last weekend... A gay guy at a party because I was drunk and was desperate to talk to somebody I felt so weird and embarrassed when I woke up and remembered what I did I can't concentrate at school... My grades have dropped intensely... I'm constantly angry at home for no reason lashing out at family members Im the youngest on my family and let's just say my other siblings haven't exactly made my parents proud... I have an older gay brother, were quite close but I feel like if I told him I was gay he wouldn't even believe me and would be shocked My parents put pressure on me to be the golden child, the one who makes them proud and does well in school and gets a good job and boyfriend I know I'm going to disappoint them But the worst is being in love with this girl, and not talking to anybody about it I feel I'm going to fail my last year of high school too because I just can't do work anymore, my mind is too busy and I'm constantly tired and dont sleep... I just don't know what to do anymore Any advice would be helpful
What are your feelings about going to the school guidance counselor? Have you looked online for any local LGBT support groups or services? This forum seems to be a great safe and welcoming place but I know that talking in person with someone supportive makes a big difference.
