I told my best friend that i had feelings for her and she made it clear that she didn't reciprocate them. I backed away fron the friendship for a bit because it was really hard for me to cope. Thing is she really doesn't give me the space I want. She in fact is just being more clingy than usual. One day last week i told her that it was hard for me because she doesn't reciprocate my feelings. She told me that she cares very deeply for me. My question is what does that mean?
Have a chat with her and tell her how you feel AGAIN. Tell her that you understand she doesn't reciprocate those feelings and accept that but that it is hard for you and that you need the space and time to ''grieve'' and that her clinginess and mixed signals are making it harder for it to happen. Just be honest.
She is probably worried that you are trying to distance yourself from her now and may be compensating with the clingy behaviour. Although you need the space, it's hard for her to understand and she may be concerned about losing your friendship. Even though she doesn't have reciprocal feelings for you, she obviously cares about you a lot (very deeply) as a friend. I think she was probably trying to express how much you do mean to her, without stepping over the line of friendship. Can you reassure her that taking space doesn't mean abandoning the friendship?
Thank you both for your replies. My issue with speaking with her further on the matter is that I'm afraid my anger will take over. I'm pretty angry with her for rejecting me. I don't want to tell her that because it's not fair to her. It upsets me that she doesn't know how much she is hurting me. I think I will speak with her once my anger and disappointment has dissipated.
maybe you write her an email so you can think through wat you are going to say. explain to her why you do it by mail and i think she will understand.
maybe you write her an email so you can think through wat you are going to say. explain to her why you do it by mail and i think she will understand.
Thanks penta. Why does this hurt so much? She just carries on as if she didn't turn my whole world upside-down. I'm trying not to be passibe aggressive which is what I'm being. She is constantly texting me asking for advice. I want everything to stop. The knot in my stomach, the worry, the disappointment, the rejection, the feeling of being unworthy. I just want it all to stop.
You're okay. You'll be okay. Everyone suffers heartbreak. You need to move on from that heartbreak. I know it hurts like hell. I know it doesn't feel like you're okay. But you are. So long as you're not about to jump out a window... you're okay, and things will get better. Distraction is essential. If possible, broaden your friendships. Make new friends. Maybe partners too. Don't let this friendship die necessarily... Don't let your world revolve around it, however. Best of luck.
Sounds like she's scared to lose the friendship. I also like what all Linus said. I agree with Patrick. Let her know she isn't going to lose you as a friend.
Thanks all for your responses. I've already told her that we will always be friends. My feelings for her aren't conditional. I genuinely care about her well being. That wont change. She knows that. We had that talk. Since revealing my feelings for her she has sent me several pics of herself. Some are quite revealing. I'm wondering what kind of games she plays. I feel as if she likes the attention I give her and once it goes away she does everything to get it back. I just want her to stop with all the mind games.
