Hey! So I've fairly recently discovered that I'm not straight. I'm not sure of my orientation (I would probably say homoromantic bisexual/lesbian). Anyway ... I'm out to one friend who told me she was pansexual. She's also a Christian like me, and naturally I've developed a crush on her. I'm hanging out with later today and need some advice about flirting/how forward to be. I don't want to ruin a friendship, but I'd love to go on a date with her. Any specifics about how to flirt girl to girl, how to ask a girl out and how soon, etc.? I've never even had a boyfriend so I don't know what to do. Any help is appreciated.
Hello, If you do start going out, keep it a secret for a while and solidify the romantic/sexual relationship, then start by telling a few close friends/family to help you progress before telling anybody else you know. [I got this from Monica and Chandler's relationship in FRIENDS, so I'm not sure if this will actually work, but it seems a good idea].
As a disclaimer of sorts-I have 0 experience in the actual relationship department, but some experience skirting the boundaries of relationships and the flirting and feelings and all of that. This is my very personal suggestion- whether or not you follow it, well, see how it goes depending on your situation. I would not be too forward at first, especially if you're not completely sure of how she might feel back. Pay her some compliments, comment (politely) on her looks- stuff like "oh, that's a nice [___], you look nice today." Things like that. Personally I wouldn't be too direct at first. But be there for her; text her- as much as is comfortable between the two of you- ask her how her day is, what she thinks of an outfit, stuff like that. How soon you ask her out really does depend on where you are with her now in terms of your relationship with her. Solidify what you have first, throw in some compliments, maybe lowkey ask her about how she feels in regards to relationships and dating. Then perhaps later on, ask if she would be free for a movie or dinner or something. I wouldn't make it too specific at first, like I wouldn't necessarily say "so do you want to go out just the two of us, like on a date?" At first, just ask if she's free and wants to hang out, and dwindle it down to the two of you. As that progresses, maybe it'll move more comfortably and naturally into relationship territory, and you can directly ask her on a date. You can probably tell my style is take it slow. That might not necessarily work for you and her, especially if it turns out like a previous experience of mine and stays on the same plane of "are we or are we not just friends" for what feels like an inevitable eternity because there is nothing direct and nothing pushing it forward. But who knows, every situation is different in regards to this kind of stuff. This is just my style and personal preference in regards to going about these things. I'm pretty sure somebody else will have more direct experience with this stuff- but anyhow, good luck. I hope it goes well between you and her.
