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Help - best friend who now I have feelings for

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by excuseme, Nov 12, 2015.

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  1. excuseme

    excuseme
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Dallas
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    So, I am a guy who everyone thinks is straight.... Most the time I do until recently, when I starting a friendship with a fraternity brother who I first saw as a younger bro, but now has evolved into true feelings.
    We are out of college, successful, down to earth, he broke up with his bitch of a girlfriend and so did I so we are both single. We started to hang out more, even though he is in a little bit different group than I am now... I am with a group of guys who are conservative dudes, he is a little bit of the outsider there (used to smoke a lot of pot and kindof hang with the "other" dudes who my buddies see as bad guys kind od). But I have taken him under my wing, brought him into my group a little and he is starting to integrate with my group because I endorsed him.
    He is smaller, so cute. And I am just realizing that I am attracted to him in different way. The chase is addicting. He is california, shows his love that I have become his best friend, but not sure he is into going in the direction I have in my head sometimes. He got me by being loving/touchy feely a little bit sometimes, so supportive of me. Im successful and do not want to be sidetracked. He I think is straight ... girls and all . but I'm infatuated and cannot stop thinking about him daily.
    We snuggled one time just because thats the way he is, not sure if he knew how much i ejnoyed it. Back rub once. Which just made me fall for it.
    Now he is pursuing another girl, and I need help here. Do i make a move and forever regret it? Or NOT make a move and forever regret it. We hang out all the time. His GF thinks we are dating haha. But I just want to be able to pleasure him without it being a life changing blunder. Drunk night out offer a BJ? or take the "oh we;re drunk and eating late night pizza" into something physical that I start? Please let me know your thoughts
     
    #1 excuseme, Nov 12, 2015
  2. Distant Echo

    Distant Echo
    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Drunken sex is probably the worse thing you could do. Drunk is not consenting IMO. particularly if getting him drunk for sex is planned by you in advance. A friend wouldn't do that, and if you have real feelings for him, it should not be something you are considering. Think of it like some guy getting your sister drunk so he could have sex with her....

    You need to talk to him, honestly, and carefully, leading up to telling you how you feel.

    I know, easier said than done.
     
    #2 Distant Echo, Nov 12, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2015
  3. casper

    casper
    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Netherlands
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    wow this is really hard... One the one hand it sounds like he is very comfortable with you so that could mean he could have feelings for you too but on the other hand it could just be in a friendly way and if you say you have feelings for him it could ruin the entire friendship... I honestly don't know what you should do... How much chance is there that he likes you too in your opinion? Do you get real signals from him that he likes you or are you feeling like it is just mainly you?
     
    #3 casper, Nov 12, 2015
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