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Falling for a straight friend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Stormie79, Nov 13, 2015.

  1. Stormie79

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    Hello everyone,

    I know this is not a ground breaking news but I am interested in your thoughts, mainly because I am somewhat still interested in this man.

    You see, a two weeks ago, at 1pm I have the courage and decided to send him a text, asking him , 'have you dated a guy before?' He replied 'I was thinking of you this morning.' I was so happy so I asked him ' do you want to explore possibilities with me, to which I did not received a response. When I did not hear from him at 7pm, I became dejected and text him 'I know what you mean...with a goodbye emoticon'. Suddenly he replied 'which horses are you looking for tomorrow :wink:.' He was referring to the Melbourne Cup horse race. I did not reply.

    So when he did not reach out 3 days later, I texted him with a funny joke to which he replied, and I eased into another question asking if he is not interested in me, why can't you say so as a friend, I am ok with that. He replied saying "you are one of my favorite people in this world". I am still confused by that.

    The next day I decided to text him quite a long message of appreciation for what he has done before. I guess I just want to reinforce the positive energy between us and see if there is a connection. He replied ":slight_smile:, oh so nice of you to say so!" I do hope you enjoy working in the new office." His message felt somewhat polite.

    Just a backdrop to all of these. We used to work together in the same company. During this time we often joked, make each other laugh, and flirt a lot. Our jokes are always sexually charged. He was married and divorced and had a break up with a girl before. Last I heard they got back together. But then our flirt didn't stop. He will always stay close to me, put his hands on my shoulders, and at one point slightly pad me on my penis when I was standing behind me. I groped his ass before and he didn't even flinch. During my last day he was the only one that hugged me and asked to keep in touch. I suggested exchanging numbers. 4 days later he text me.

    We have not exchanged text for a week now as I want to give all of us some space. I am not quite sure what to do with all these information. At this point I do not have the courage to ask him out cause I felt I have been doing all the pursuing and it only makes sense if a guy is doing some chasing as well if he is keen. But if he is keen I should be hearing from him now. If he is not he would just tell me directly. I am quite confused.

    Anyone can share your thoughts?
     
  2. questions4ever

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    Hmmm ... sounds like a tough situation. It sounds like he is questioning whether he has feelings for you. I would try asking him out on a one time date no strings attached and just see how it goes. Hope this helped somewhat.
     
  3. Stormie79

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    Hi question4ever, you are kind to reach out so thanks.

    I am not sure if he is even questioning anything because his last message sounds cold and distant.

    At this stage I dare not contact him anymore for fear of another round of rejection or cold replies.

    Another time is he pinched my nipple so hard in the office. Surely this is not something a straight guy will do, including pad me down there.

    Because you're a bisexual as well, I wonder if this is a common thing you guys or gals do? Like warm one minute and then back pedal?

    It's been a week and he hasn't text yet.
     
  4. HoustonAtlanta

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    I'm going through a similar situation with an athlete. I told him I was in love with him on 3 different occasions, and each time he says "you're telling me stuff I already know" and then he just gets silent. He told he "wasn't like that" but still continues to text me, say he loves me, etc.

    As for your guy.....he may be straight but curious. Think about it, after you expressed your feeling towards him, if he was "straight" he would never have texted you back even after you texted him a second time. So I'm thinking he's curious but doesn't want to accept it.

    The worst thing you could do is force him to tell him he likes you and/or keep expressing your feelings if he keeps ignoring them.

    The beauty about it all is that you asked him if he likes you more than friendship, and he still continues to text you. Most straight guys will never text back again. So I say just play it out and continue to be his friend. If he really likes you, time will tell....
     
    #4 HoustonAtlanta, Nov 15, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2015
  5. Stormie79

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    Many thanks Houston for reaching out! I have read your post before and I nearly cried. It's a better story than mine because at least your relationship is quite developed.

    As for me, I am trying to move on and yet have some kind of hope in myself. I hope that our tension will build up over time and he will eventually text me again.

    Meanwhile, you are right, to his credits he still reply to my every message. But his last distant reply left me feeling cold and despondent, it sounds like a goodbye. I am not sure if I already have impact on him and therefore the retreat, which is a great compliment, or worst, that he is only playing around.

    When you said wait do you mean just leave him alone? How do you keep your sanity in check in the process?
     
    #5 Stormie79, Nov 15, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2015
  6. SodapopCurtis

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    i know what u mean.. i fell for a straight friend of mine.. sucks... hang in there. just keep swimming
     
  7. Stormie79

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    Not sure if you guys read his last text to me. He said, :wink: oh so nice of you to say so! I do hope you enjoy yourself at the new office.

    That's to me is a cold and distant goodbye text a guy can give you. Right after I sent this,
    "just want you to know, while I have this chance to do so, that I really treasure those small moments when, you make me laugh, and always see through my act of brave front and reach out for the real me, and unexpectedly always next to me when I'm at the most vulnerable, especially on my last day, but somehow, you beam your sweet smile and give a tender hug, life seems great again."

    See what I mean?
     
  8. Stormie79

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    Re: Falling for Straight Guy
    Finally I have a "response" from that straight guy.

    I text him in the evening asking 'D, I like to catch up before Xmas with you, what do you think?" And I received no reply for an hour since.

    That really speaks volume about how he feels about us and the so called friendship! Funny I do not feel very sad at all!!!

    My big thank you to lampshade for the advice, luckily I listened to him and text him right away. Save me thinking this over Xmas!!!

    Thanks everyone for listening, hopefully i won't be here writing about straight guys anymore!