I have only been out for a few months, and am trying to figure out the whole dating thing. For general context, I am specifically attracted to older men (typically 40-60 years old). I have been in one month long relationship before the one that I am in now. My first relationship was full of excitement and emotion because I was so happy to finally be with someone. I swept a lot of red flags under the rug, and finally saw all of them at once, so I ended things with him. My second relationship (the one that I am in now) is going much better and we share a lot of common interests, and feel the same way about a lot of divisive issues. I have no clue what I am doing. I am scared of saying 'I love you' too soon. I am scared of getting him the wrong gift too soon. I am scared of taking him on the wrong kind of date. I am scared of spending too much of my time with him. I am scared of spending too little of my time with him. I am so new to this, and I like him, but I am afraid of moving to fast and ruining a good thing. Right now I am not looking for 'the one', I just want to explore relationships and dating, and figure out what I like and don't like. I also don't want to throw away a relationship after a few weeks just because I fear commitment. Basically, I have no clue how dating works, and I know part of it is just figuring things out for yourself, but there are probably a few things that are just generally good rules of thumb for relationships.
I'm curious what others will say: I feel the same way. I don't say the right things to people I like, I get shy, unsure if what we do. It's odd l for me.
Dating is not about doing all the right or wrong things. It isn't about saying I love you too soon, or getting someone the right or wrong gift, or even about how much time you spend together because the truth is, these things are different for everyone. All you need to do is be yourself. If you feel the time is right, say I love you. If you feel a gift is appropriate, give it. If you want to spend more or less time together, then do whatever you feel you need to do to make yourself happy. Dating is about finding the person that will share all of those things with you and be happy with you regardless of if you do the right or wrong things. If you spend every moment thinking about what you should be doing, instead of doing what you want and trying to find a partner who is compatible with you, then you are doing it wrong. I have fallen for people too soon, and said I love you and it wasn't returned. That ended and I moved on because it obviously wasn't right for me. I've had dates with people where there was no connection and that ended it. Just gotta learn who works with you until you find the right one.
