had a massive crush on a close friend for a long time now let's call her kathy cannot tell whether she feels the same way or not. when I first got to know her I thought she must be gay. very flamboyant personality, school jokester always showing off, heaps sporty etc. she is feminine but tomboy, is really touchy, always unnecessarily touching girls, couple times grabbed my thigh, held my hand, slapped my ass here's signs/ things that says she's gay/likes me: we hold eye contact quite long most times we speak and I get this vibe from her eyes she likes me it's a straight in the eye dreamy/vulnerable stare I've sensed multiple times asked me to be her girlfriend once and said she was in love with me (made out to be a joke with lots of sarcasm) BUT it was weird considering we had spent the whole night together at a party and we're alone sitting down when she said it i feel she stares at girls differently I haven't analysed it properly though. once I remember I came out of my friends bathroom after a shower in a top and undies and she shot a quick look down at me and my legs showed me her boobs few times in a joking way once alone "friendly/sarcastically" in the bathroom has a fling with this guy, she never mentions/talks about him (atleast with me or infront of our friend circle) my other friend said kathys not even interested in him and he really likes her but kathy said she doesn't want him to ask her out she gets defensive when people have joked saying she's lesbo (all straight girls make the joke "omg kathy u lesbo!" but she gets sorta pissed off I sense or says things like "Yer alright dude!" She's never made homophobic comments but sorta dissed/acted weird with lesbians My Other friend brought up kathys anti-lesbianish ways and said "it's weird how kathys so anti-lesbian, I actually think she's gay" and I pretended I wasn't that interested so people can't tell I like her then I replied "wait what" I was in shock that someone else picked up on it (thought I was crazy) then my friend said "don't worry" lot of boy friends whenever we're out she hangs with groups of them I feel like we can get shy and awkward around each other SOMETIMES. when we're alone e.g sometimes we avoid situations alone together. Weve been alone heaps of times as we're good friends and 70% of the time were ourselves and care free however here's an example of what happens/happened once: left school early me Kathy and another friend, our other friend says she's walking other way and Kathy goes "oh you want us to go with you or walk that way" which she normally wouldn't ask with other people/just seemed suspicious/gave me a vibe this happens frequently when we're about to be left alone I FEEL somethings missing from our friendship like it's not a friendship it's this thing where we pretend we don't like each other and we get along so well, too well if I'm honest. there's some more signs but there all minor Wat I wanna know from u guys is do you think she's gay/likes me? I don't know wat to do anymore she's driving me nuts and all I do is think about her to the point where I can't sleep or do normal tasks without her in my mind Do i trust my vibes? Does she sound like a closet case? Give me ur opinions and share a similar experience if u can! ALSO give me some signs to look out for!! (i think she is in a massive stage of denial. i dunno if I'm crazy but I do. it's hard in high school, our friendship circle all being extremely girly straight popular girls) (also I think I have a good gaydar. Had a crush on a girl a year ago she just came out and I always suspected her to be) P.s might be throwing her off. I'm quite femme, had a boyfriend last year and have sex with guys (all bad experiences - no emotional connection, and at parties I kiss dudes but to convince myself and others I'm straight. but the past couple of months Ive stopped, I've hinted my no interest in boys, Started dressing more guyish (because I always wanted to but scared too) and in this time Im accepting myself it seems she's gone the other direction and is trying to be more straight (if that makes sense)
As I always say, trust your gut. I think from what information you have given us it seems like she may be gay and is giving you hints that she may like you. It seems like she is giving off a lot of signals that she is flirting with you. The eye contact with a dreamy vulnerable stare, jokingly asking to be her girlfriend, showng her boobs, etc. all seem to hint that she could be attracted to you. I think maybe you should start flirting with her a bit to see how she reacts. I wish you the best of luck, and keep us updated
Dear Abcdflower, let me analyse your post and add "homoscore" (no offense) for every statement, that shows, that she is homosexual. For points, which scream "homosexual" I add +2, for those, which hint it - +1. Also a special case - +3 for the most obvious point. is really touchy +2 (this is obvious) we hold eye contact quite long most times we speak +1 (could be) I get this vibe from her eyes she likes me it's a straight in the eye dreamy/vulnerable stare I've sensed multiple times +2 (silent romance) asked me to be her girlfriend once and said she was in love with me (made out to be a joke with lots of sarcasm) +2 (considering the situation, yes) i feel she stares at girls differently +1 (might be just her behavior) she shot a quick look down at me and my legs +3 (of course) has a fling with this guy, she never mentions/talks about him (atleast with me or infront of our friend circle) my other friend said kathys not even interested in him and he really likes her but kathy said she doesn't want him to ask her out +2 (she has a closet - her boyfriend) she gets defensive when people have joked saying she's lesbo (all straight girls make the joke "omg kathy u lesbo!" but she gets sorta pissed off I sense or says things like "Yer alright dude!" +2 (she is surely in closet) She's never made homophobic comments but sorta dissed/acted weird with lesbians +2 (this is definite) I feel like we can get shy and awkward around each other SOMETIMES. +2 (this does not happen to other people) Her "homoscore" is 19. Congratulations! She is surely homosexual. By the way, she is not really in a stage of self-denial. She is giving you a lot of information to explain her sexuality to you in private. She is simply closeted because of any reason (like unsuportive parents). Actually, she seems to be a person, who celebrates their sexuality. She adores you and it is visible. You have to be more direct to her and if you truly wish to be with her, tell her in a private place, that you like her more than a friend and that it would be great if she felt the same. Be direct to her. Amaze her. She has not been making moves at you because of your heterosexual mask, which she also wears. Sneak her a peek behind the mask. You do not need to come out to anyone, just tell her in private. You would feel great relief when you did so and might even find your true love. I do not see any bad outcomings of this story. Even if she goes all homophobic and starts telling people, you might turn the rumors down by saying, that she is mean to you, as you had a great quarrel. Easy. May the force be with you. Kisses, Khorlidir.
Thank you a lot for ur response, it gave me a real sense of hope. for so long I've thought I'm crazy and that maybe I am misinterpreting the signs... I still doubt myself and the situation some days I'm convinced she likes me others I am not. I make out most times that she doesn't phase me and I pretend I am not fascinated by her at all, other times when we speak us too I feel something in our gaze and the way she looks at me is different. if she does like me and is gay I think she is very scared and afraid and I'm so frightened to reveal my feelings in case of rejection, how can I give her a subtle yet obvious hint that I like her?
If you like how she smells (her body odour), then tell her, that she smells amazingly and blush. Worked in my case. Or you could touch her arm for 10 seconds and stare in her eyes and smile. Or blush massively. Or get close face to face and chuckle and blush. Or lean onto her and laugh. If you wish to give a hint, be physical.
