He: Not yet ready? Or truly heterosexual? Came out to him.

This story would be split in sections, each day-by-day.

Basic knowledge: we live on the same floor of the students' dormitory, he is approximately my type. I was closeted to him before yesterday. I am a Cancer, he is Pisces (Zodiac). I became interested in him during late New Moon. We never contacted with each other before this story.

Saturday. Outfit: more exposing, masculine-androgynous black/brown clothes.

During the afternoon I saw him watching some kind of anime and came up to him. Suddenly I felt his body odour and it smelled arousing and pleasant to me. I have felt this same feeling only twice in my life before (I am only in my late teens). Thus I became interested in him a lot. Asked him about what the anime he was watching was and he replied to me in a friendly way. We had a bit of smalltalk about it and his tone changed from a manly one to a much more gentle one when I sat close. Then I went to my room so as to complete my homework.

In an hour I decided to take action and spotted him at the same place in the evening. I sat next to him and asked him a bit about himself. Then I asked him if I could show him some good Korean comic I have read. He agreed and sat closer to me. I could feel his body heat. When I was showing him the comic he greatly focused on it and moved his hand close to mine. Then I showed him some randomly funny MLG/Illuminati/YTP videos and he laughed a lot. We were sitting together for approximately 1 hour 20 minutes.

Sunday. Outfit: androgynous black clothes.

In the evening I spotted him and sat next to him. We have been watching the same weird funny videos and I showed him my music on Youtube (I am a composer). I asked him a lot about himself and he always turned his face directly to mine and was looking right into my eyes when replying (the distance between us was mere 20 centimeters and he seemed to incline a bit towards me when replying). He also never moved when I touched his hand (not on purpose) with the rear side of mine when I stretched over the table to type something in his laptop. I did not move mine in order to analyse his reaction. Then he suddenly told me, that he has to go to see his friend. This time we were sitting together for 2 hours 10 minutes.

Monday. Outfit: androgynous-feminine dark green/turqiose clothes.

I saw him ascending the staircase when I was descending to the ground floor. He smiled to me and I smiled to him and we greeted each other. When we were very close he seemed as if he wanted to tell me something, yet I descend fairly quickly and this was not meant to happen. I did not see him this evening.

Tuesday. Outfit: the same.

I did not see him that day.

Wednesday. Outfit: outrageous pink/black androgynous clothes.

I met him during the afternoon. He smiled a lot to me and I did too. I told him, that he simply disappeared. He told me, that he had insomnia since Sunday and I expressed my sympathy. Then I did not know what to tell him and awkwardly laughed. He did the same. I subtly touched his hand (to check his reaction) and he lifted it a little towards me, yet I started telling him, that I was going to have a lot of tests the next day. He told me with a seemingly shy voice, that we could, maybe, meet the next day and I told him, that we could meet up 1 hour and 30 minutes later, as I have studied the material in a profound way. He was seemingly pleased.

Then he slept through our set time and went out of his room only at 18:00. He told me, that he has really awful insomnia and he just fell dead asleep (which did not actually sound true, as his eye sclera looked mostly healthily white). Then we spent a lot of time watching and reading various matter on his and mine laptops (they look the same, his is just a bigger version of mine). I told him that I was homosexual and adored his smell. I told him, that he should not repulse me as I was not going to do anything to him without his conscent. His reaction was greatly unexpected: he smiled and said nothing. He was touchier for the rest of the evening. At 21:10 he suddenly remembered, that he had nothing for a dinner and was going to go to the supermarket. Then he saw the time and was amazed (the supermarkets close at 20:00 here). He told me, that he was going to the pizzeria and would be back in half an hour or less. He left his laptop near mine.

At 21:34 he returned and looked at his laptop screen after smiling to me. I did not stalk through his Web Browser History, no. Then he told me, that he is feeling really sleepy. I asked him if I could show him the last 6-minute YTP I found and he agreed. At 3 minutes of the video his friend came up to him and suddenly his behavior became much more stiff and manly. I waited a little and then left (we told each other "Next time").

Thursday (Yesterday).

He "slept through" again and i met him in the late afternoon and he told me, that he just stood up, so he was going to go to the pizzeria to buy some pizza to eat. I told him, that I am going to the supermarket, so, maybe, he would buy the food there. He agreed and we went 5 minutes later. I immediately noticed, that he did not bring any reservoir to carry the products, so I asked him about that. He told me, that he is going with me. We had a lot of awkward small talk on our road to the supermarket. He told me, that he does not really like to walk a lot, but still went the whole way through. It was also seemingly too cold for him, yet he stubbornly denied it. In the supermarket he attempted to help me carry my products and followed me like a tail, being silent, yet trying to stay close to me. We looked outright like a couple in the mirror. Then he helped me pack the products and was really touchy during everything. He even offered to carry my pack (it was definitely heavy), yet I politely declined his offer.

On the way back I outright told him, that I really adore him, he is very sweet and told him, that I would definitely fall in love with him if our relationship is any time longer. And he replied:

"I am not... homosexual..."

I felt deep dishonour. I asked him, if everything, that he did was simply nothing. He remained silent. I told him, that it can not remain like this and said, that I really thought, that he is interested, too. I told him, that I even planned how I would come out to him and confess to him, that I like him a lot. He was whether remaining silent or trying to change the topic a little. Then he told me, that he still really wants to remain friends. This made me furious inside, yet I did not express it and told him, that I could never envisage him as my friend. I told him, that there would be whether nothing or something. He was silent. Then I suddenly remembered, that he wished to go to the pizzeria and told him it. He laughed awkwardly and told me, that he had forgotten it and could not guess, where we were. I told him and we went to his pizzeria.

On the way I told him, that I would think of what happened and would cut all connection to him, however not that day. I told him, that it would be way too sudden. Then he ordered a pizza and I was waiting outside in the rain (I enjoy rain, by the way). I started singing to myself some Celtic song and then I noticed him coming up to me and he asked me, if we really could not spend time together anymore. I told him, that I was clear and it tortures me. He told, that he knows this torture, as he had a crush earlier. I told him, that he is not my crush yet, but I like him in all ways, so his statement was inappropriate. Then he standed with me in the cold rain silently and I told him in a minute, that he might need to go back to the pizzeria, as the pizza was maybe ready. He went back after a bit of hesitation.

I waited outside for 5 minutes looking at the Waxing Quarter Moon (which normally means a very intense day for me) and then simply went away trying to soothe my wounds singing Celtic songs.

In the night I noticed, that he was sitting at exactly the same place where we two were before and was doing something in his laptop. He was still sitting there when I was going to sleep (it was really late, 00:30 Today). I neither talked, nor showed any kind of noticing him.

Today.

|Would be updated if I saw him.|


Conclusion. I direly need your advise in this situation. I have already had a huge crush for 3 years and would not want anything like that to repeat (though, the previous crush was a very different (purely irrational and contactless) and closeted one. I would update this story each day so as to provide more details (in case there would be a neccessity to).

My grandest gratitude to everyone, who reads and supports. You are truly wonderful.

 

One more detail. He really acts like a Pisces person and Pisces tend to behave in an escapist way. Mind this, please.

 

I let the waters rest and ignored him the previous day. Since I rushed a lot, he might need some time to think for himself. Also my "sister" told me, that probably it is the best thing I could do for now.

 

Unfortunately, you have misunderstood the situation. I was not the one flirting. Nor were we friends to each other.

I did not tell him, that I wished to have a sexual intercourse. I told him, that I feel a deep connection to him. I am a very chaste person to sleep with another just for pleasure. Please, formulate your statements in a more respectful way.

Furthermore, I did not take the dictatioral tone during the last evening. Quite the opposite, I have spoken to him with a completely neutral and a little startled tone. My apologies for my expression, it might have confused you. I told him, that, alas, I was not able to see him as a friend.

Most importantly, I did not actually wish to leave. Yet I had to, as the rain was pretty cold and I was starting to tremble and cough.

My treatment of him was nary of disrespect. It might have looked to you that way, as it is pretty usual for people to act ridiculed when they do not receive what they desire. However, it was very respectful. I would not attempt to describe everything in slightest details.

Anyway, thank you for letting me clear out the situation once more.

---------- Post added 21st Nov 2015 at 04:29 PM ----------

An additional note.

We told each other each others' whole biography during all our activity. There was no more neccessity to evaluate the factors.

Finally, being extremely empathic, I followed the flow of the emotions, that I felt from him. I did not do anything suddenly, yet it might have been done way too swiftly.

 

I have controlled the situation again and we are on an intimate stage now. He is simply closeted.

Such ignorance, AlmostBlue. Nevertheless, I thank you for answering.

This story ended as I desired.