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Parents and their traditional thinking

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Jax12, Nov 20, 2015.

  1. Jax12

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    I've spoken to my parents about my current boyfriend, and my mom is taking it a lot better than my dad. My mom is trying to accept that I am gay, however my dad is being very VERY traditional about this.

    Quote: "It has to be a man and a woman. A man+man/women+women just doesn't work. How do you produce the next generation?"

    He upsets me. He's very stubborn about this. What response can I give when I speak to him about "heteronormativity"? He says it's not normal. They say they still love me. But how can I fall back on my parents when they can't even accept that I'm gay?
     
  2. Khorlidir

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    "
    Of course, being homosexual is not normal in the sense of conventional.

    Yet being homosexual is not that different. Even if I would not wish to produce the next generation with any other woman, there are many other men, who do not have children. Plus, I could adopt more children together with my possible future husband and save their souls, while contributing to the society.

    There is no way I could become straight. I felt this way throughout my whole life and it came naturally to me. I have never been sexually attracted to females, they have only been my objects of respect or admiration.

    Father, this is something no one is able to change. You might think of it as of some kind of not curable cancer, but for me it is completely what I am. I can not be anything, only what I am.

    "

    By the way. Would you actually need to fall back on your parents? You are 19 now. I assumed, that you are already emotionally independent from your parents.
     
    #2 Khorlidir, Nov 21, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2015
  3. Jax12

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    That's a good point you bring up. I myself am trying to accept that they probably won't be very accepting of me being gay. I'm still in the process of being independent in general, so this may be a challenge for me. Thanks for your response.
     
  4. PatrickUK

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    Jax, it might be an idea to see if your Dad could be persuaded by reading some of the content on PFLAG' website or even a book for parents of LGBT kids. Maybe if he spoke to another parent/s it would help.
     
  5. Khorlidir

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    Considering the way he describes his father, that father would not read "propaganda" books and listen to "brainwashed" people.
     
  6. PatrickUK

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    People can sometimes surprise us. You may be right about his father dismissing the idea, but if it's not suggested Jax will never know for sure. It's worth a try.
     
  7. Khorlidir

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    Avowedly then.

    Jax, you would better work on it now.