I first realized that I'm not straight in 7th grade or so when my pansexual best friend told me they had feelings for me. We stopped being friends because I didn't understand what I was feeling. In 8th grade, I fell madly in love with my other best friend who we'll call Ž. We had discovered drinking and drugs together so I figured what I felt for her were the classic substance abuse effect. I developed anxiety at this time, but couldn't understand why. I thought it was the drugs, but it was my sexuality emerging and scaring me to death. Anyways, I told Ž I loved her after a year of anxiety attacks whenever I got near her.. which really put a strain on our friendship. I told my mom thereafter, to which she began crying hysterically and had to pull the car over to calm herself down. I got into a relationship with a man and became straight edge to save my sanity, which worked for a couple of years but here I am, over 2 years into my heterosexual relationship and I'm thinking about all of the early attractions I've had to girls. And how my mom thinks I'm "cured" of all the dreaded homosexual demons. There's so much more in between I need to share but for the premise of this post: How do I deal with doubtful parents shoving me back into the closet?
