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Stuck in a relationship that i don't want to be in

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by africanFlower, Nov 22, 2015.

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  1. africanFlower

    africanFlower
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    Hi to all who read this. So i have liked this one girl since high school and had asked her out then but she was afraid (ouch)... Now, halfway through my degree and roughly about 6 years later she said yes. Now it gets juicy, she then dumped her boyfriend and we began officially dating. Oh and did i mention that she is my best friend! Months down the line i start feeling like i am married and this sucks. I feel we got serious too fast. I dont feel like i am living in this relationship, :frowning2:. Sad part is that when i went out one night i met a girl who seemed interested in me. We started talking for a while but with the sexual tension between us its obvious that we then made out. Next morning i couldn't get her out of my head, i had butterflies the whole day that i couldn't eat. I haven't felt like that in a long while!! I know what i feel is infactuation, but she makes me feel good and i want more of her BUT i cant because i am in a relationship!! I feel like an ass for doing that to my girlfriend :frowning2:. I am at a point where i wish she would break up with me because i will love her better as my best friend. I don't know what to do. Told the new girl that i was being unfair to her since i was with some1 else and she said that she understood but now i want to text her so badly!! Agg why are things like this?!
     
    #1 africanFlower, Nov 22, 2015
  2. Chiroptera

    Chiroptera
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    If you aren't confortable in your relationship, then the best thing you can do is to break up with your girlfriend, as soon as possible.

    Breaking up is never easy, but, in some cases, it will be better for all the people involved. But, even if it is a hard thing to do, you must not delay it. If you feel you don't want to be in the relationship, then end it now. Be honest with your girlfriend, and, as an act of respect, do not delay it, pretending that everything is ok.

    If you want, you can talk to her (and be honest, do not hide anything) and see if you can keep going. But, judging by your post, i don't think you really want to continue in the relationship.

    And, before doing anything else with the other girl, break up with your girlfriend first.
     
    #2 Chiroptera, Nov 22, 2015
  3. africanFlower

    africanFlower
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    Thanks for replying. Honestly i am so so afraid of breaking up with her because she sacrifised so much to be with me and we only started dating recently. I am trying to forget the other girl but it hurts. I have not texted her though. I dont want to lose my best friend which is likely to happen should i break up with her. I am hoping that she can also feel that this is not working and tell me because i am too much of a coward
     
    #3 africanFlower, Nov 22, 2015
  4. Chiroptera

    Chiroptera
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    As i said, i know it is hard, but i insist that, if you are feeling that way, then you should break up now. If you try to wait until she breaks up with you, both you and her will suffer more. Also, that wouldn't be honest with her, as you would be hiding your feelings.

    If you are feeling that way, it would be respectful to break up now, instead of delaying what apparently is the inevitable. Don't keep hiding things from her or pretending that everything is ok. If you value her friendship, then be honest.

    I don't need to remind you that what you did with the other girl was wrong. But you don't need to keep lying: Be honest with your girlfriend (and friend) now.

    If she doesn't want to continue the friendship, then you need to respect her decision too. But, trust me, it will be a lot worse if you lie and pretend that everything is fine.
     
    #4 Chiroptera, Nov 22, 2015
  5. africanFlower

    africanFlower
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    I hear your point and i suppose you are right. Oh man this is going to be difficult :'(. Thanks for responding, think i needed the hard truth
     
    #5 africanFlower, Nov 22, 2015
  6. Chiroptera

    Chiroptera
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    You are welcome. I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago, and, even if it isn't the first time i had to do it, it is always hard. But, as much as i loved him and he loved me, our futures clearly lead to different paths, and we had to break up as soon as possible, so we can now keep going (this is true, not saying this only because of this thread).

    I think the situation your situation is similiar.

    We will be here for anything you (or her) might need.
     
    #6 Chiroptera, Nov 22, 2015
  7. africanFlower

    africanFlower
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    Thanks for telling me your story :slight_smile: as well as for listening! I think i will tell her when exams end for her cz they determine wether she graduates or not so i dont want to be in the of that. Wish me luck :-(
     
    #7 africanFlower, Nov 22, 2015
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