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No Idea

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by RavenTheRat, Nov 22, 2015.

  1. RavenTheRat

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    North Carolina
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I've never been in a relationship before now, as a disclaimer. And my boyfriend is amazing, don't get me wrong- we've been dating for a little over a month.
    There's just.... problems I guess. Not with him, I'm the problem. I have Aspergers, and it really affects my behavior when it comes to a relationship. And the problem is he wants to go on dates and wants me to come over to his house to watch a movie, but I don't want to do that. I really feel more comfortable just being together at school- I like solitude, and afterschool/weekends are my time for that. It's been giving me tons of anxiety. I don't mind dates as much, it's really the house thing that's making me anxious. And the thing is if I would just open my mouth and SAY that I don't want to, he'd say "it's fine, I understand that." I just...... I've always had a hard time saying I don't want to do things, and I don't want to hurt his feelings.......
    The other problem is he has no issue with pda, he doesn't care if the principal or his parents are around when we kiss and such. Pda is what bothers me the MOST. It makes me ridiculously anxious.
    The last thing I'm worried about is IF we break up. Because he's only had one relationship before me, and apparantly after she dumped him he became suicidal. So even if I decided that this wasn't going to work, I'd be way to scared to break up with him for fear of his safety. Because he tells me that I'm the only thing that matters to him and that he doesn't care about the rest of his family and the weight of a statement like that scares me.
    I know it probably sounds ridiculous that I'm complaining about this, I just have no idea how to handle the situation. :help:
     
  2. Najlen

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    If he likes you and respects you, then he will understand that you don't want to do some things and it won't hurt his feelings. Especially since you think he would understand, you should tell him that you're uncomfortable rather than going along with it and being unhappy. I don't really know what you could do to make a breakup easier for him, but if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out, and you shouldn't let yourself get stuck in a relationship you aren't happy in. It doesn't sound ridiculous at all. I can understand being worried. Hope this helps.
     
  3. RavenTheRat

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    516
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    29
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Thank you so much (and awesome profile pic by the way) :slight_smile:

    You're right, I need to tell him when I'm uncomfortable instead of going along with it. I really needed to hear that, thank you so much!
     
  4. Najlen

    Full Member

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    Location:
    221B Baker St, and the TARDIS (I wish)
    You're welcome!