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Told the girl im dating that im lesbian... and im not.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Brightlights, Nov 22, 2015.

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  1. Brightlights

    Brightlights
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2015
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    So I started seeing this girl and she is literally my dream girl.
    She's so perfect! I haven't really figured out my sexuality, because its rather confusing. I guess if i'd identify as anything it would be lesbian, but I do have some sexual attraction to men. I can't fall in love with them, as it's only some sexual attraction, whereas girls i am definitely physically, sexually, and emotionally attracted to them. Anyways, she asked me if i was bi or lesbian. I freaked out and got scared it would be a dealbreaker if i said bi, so i said lesbian. Well as ive gotten to know her more, i feel so guilty that i wasnt exactly honest, but i dont want her to worry that ill dump her for a guy or anything. What do i do?! I don't want to screw anything up. have you ever been in this position?
     
    #1 Brightlights, Nov 22, 2015
  2. Aspen

    Aspen
    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2014
    Messages:
    1,471
    Likes Received:
    239
    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Labels are just labels. If you like this girl, that's what is important. But if it's a big deal to you, just talk to her about it. Tell her that you're still figuring things out and you're not sure which label you feel best about. If she's really perfect, she won't judge you for identifying as bisexual.

    When I started dating my girlfriend, I was heavily questioning. I didn't know what label fit best or even what my attractions really were. When she asked, I told her I was bi. I'm not a huge fan of labels but that's still the one I use because it's the easiest description of a complicated subject. Had I questioned further and realized I'm something else, I know she would have been fine with it.
     
    #2 Aspen, Nov 23, 2015
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