Led on, with no support system

Before I begin, let me say I am 17 and in high school still. So, that might help you understand some of my behaviors, feelings, and thoughts. Plus, if it sounds like a teen drama, you'll know it is.

The story starts with this guy. He's everything I would want in a guy. He's handsome, nice, and funny. In addition, he's very smart. He is one of the few people I feel like I can be myself around. I'm shy and really smart (one of the best in my grade), so he was perfect for me.

We first me on the school's cross country team. He was a new guy this year. We started talking and getting closer over the next few weeks. Eventually, I started my attempts at flirting with him. I'd hang close, talk to him a lot, smile when I saw him, and occasionally give him a pat on the back or shoulder. Eventually, he started doing some of this back to me. I knew this didn't mean a lot. But it was hope.

Next comes homecoming week. At the powder-puff football game, he asked if I wanted to go to homecoming with him, as friends. Of course, I agreed. Again, I knew this wasn't concrete proof of anything, but I had more hope. The next day, was the actual homecoming (american) football game. This is when things got complicated. We were sitting in the stands, kind of near each other. I was right in front of him, turning around to talk to him. We were both having a good time laughing and joking. At one point, he put his arms around me and pulled me closer to him for a little bit. This happened twice that night. In addition, he held my hand, for a split second. I don't remember the joke, but it was suppose to be some kind of joke. I left the game, feeling very confused that night.

I made a plan to tell him, if the homecoming dance went well.

Unfortunately, it didn't. We went to the dance, as planned. That night, he ditched me. He ended up dancing with this girl, that I don't really like (she's very irresponsible and kind of rebellious). I am surprised the teacher didn't break up anything, because it was that kind of "inappropriate for school settings" dancing. Then there was me. I was left alone, all night, seeing that.

For the rest of the story, it's semi important to note some stuff about this girl. We share some of the same friends. In addition, at the time, she was still dating her long distance boyfriend. (She broke up with him a week or two later).

Continuing on, I did talk to my friends. They tried to mediate some stuff. They told the girl, who told the guy. The guy apologized. He had no idea. The girl told my friends she was going to talk to me and make sure I wasn't too hurt. She never talked to me.

Back to the story. I went on being friends with the guy, just as friends, nothing more. Fast forward, the two are now dating. I though I was over it. Everyone though I was over it. That was wrong.

When my new friend had a fallout with his friends, he was invited to sit with my group of friends at lunch (because of his girlfriends friends aka my friends). Slowly, I've realized I'm not over him.

I've tried and tried but I can't get over him, no matter what I do. I don't what to do or who to talk to. My friends are out of the question. I don't want to cause problems for them. I don't want to say anything to the guy. We are good friends. I think I might be his best friend (or one of the best). OR maybe I mean nothing to him, and I'm just thinking things, again. :dry:

So, I've just suffered away in silence until I reached my breaking point (this post). Writing this hurt a lot. I don't even know why!?! I've crushed on straight guys before but it didn't hurt like this.

If you're still here, thanks for reading. It helps knowing someone knows my story.