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I seriously need your opinions (does he like me?)

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by mrbb, Nov 28, 2015.

  1. mrbb

    Regular Member

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    Hey! I'm new here, hope you can help me in something. (for first I was reluctant to post it but I can't take it anymore so...)

    I fell in love with one of my 'best' friends and I seriously have NO clue whether I should tell him or not (I'm a guy, he's a guy as well). I have a feeling he feels the same but I just can't figure it out on my own, and since I'm not out yet I decided to ask it here. What do you think, based on these things I noticed do you think there's any chance he has a feeling for me? (even a tiny bit?)

    He doesn't have a girlfriend, which is quite unusual because I have to admit he's pretty hot.
    He's teasing me all the time; he tells people things that happened to me to make them (and me?) laugh. Like seriously anything funny happens when it's only the two of us, the next thing he does is to tell his friends the next day to make me feel embarassed...
    We literally can't speak normally to each other when it's the two of us, either we remain silent or say stupid, nonesense things. (I know I do that because i'm really nervous, but why does he?)
    He touches me a lot (like, touching my arm or leg in high school and not moving it away, or even when I lie down he puts his head on my back and lies down or just comes way too close idk)
    He says "I love you" a lot, most of the time it's a part of a joke I guess
    He looks at me a lot when he thinks I can't see it but I can and when we look at each other he either looks away quickly or looks down to my lips
    Whenever everyone compliments me of something he's the only one not doing it, he remains silent
    He acts differently when he talks to his friends and I go there as well (we are all good friends tho).
    Despite we're allegedly really good friends, he ignores me a lot.

    But that's not all...

    When we see a good looking woman he asks 'would you bang her?' or 'aaa look at that booty'. So do I by the way... You have to maintain the guise you know... Which confuses me a lot.
    Most of his friends are guys. I know this isn't a big deal but still, it's not a good sign at all to me.
    He's being homophobic whenever it comes to a situation that includes gays.
    He says mean things to me (without even thinking it would hurt).
    I hate to be manipulated, but I'm way too kind to say no to people (this is probably my biggest sin), so whenever he calls me after he finished his class to hang out together I say yes. Is he doing this because he doesn't want to be bored? Why calling only me?


    Hmmm, weird, I know. And honestly I'm kinda tired of playing this game...

    I may have forgotten some to mention, but nevermind. Tell me what you think please!

    ((P.S.: sorry for any grammar mistakes
    Fun fact: we're both in the same class as seniors))
     
  2. Uncolored

    Regular Member

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    Okay so.. two things. A lot of younger guys (I will assume that you are in high school correct?) touch each other a lot, especially if they are close buddies. I remember when I was in high school a lot of the guys who were closest would literally cuddle and tackle one another all day long. BUT I will tell you that if he was touching your leg like that for a period of time, that doesn't fall into the "buddy" category I would say. Especially if you have caught him staring at you.
    To me it sounds like he is in the closet about his sexuality and does not want to disclose that to you. He may not even realize that he is attracted to men because he suppresses it (that was what I did). A lot of people who are a shamed about their sexuality will cover it up by being homophobic, especially guys because they don't like the stigma. Yes, he could very well be covering up his behavior towards you by making comments about women. Before I fully realized that I was gay, I would make remarks about attractive men even though I didn't find them attractive. Maybe this could be what your best friend is doing. Maybe your friend is attracted to you.
    I think that you already know this but you are looking to Empty Closet for verification. I would say trust your instincts!
    I would suggest that you disclose your sexuality to your friend. Tell him that you trust him enough to tell him this, you could even make up an excuse for bringing it up. "It has been on my mind lately", "I am really struggling with it", "I am trying to be more open". However, DO NOT tell him that you attracted to him. You do not want to allude to anything and risk your friendship. What you are doing by telling him this is putting the ball on his side of the court, and it will be his turn to hit the ball back at you. Maybe he feels the same way, maybe in time he will disclose more with you, but maybe he wont. See how it goes, I really don't think that you would lose anything by bringing up your sexuality with him because after all, you are discussing yourself and not him. If he turns away from you then either: 1. He is a shamed of himself and his sexuality and does not want to come out OR 2. he wasn't meant to be your friend in the first place and you deserve someone who will accept you for who you are.
    I hope this helps!
     
  3. Steve FS

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    I do feel like he has some curiosity, but I'm not sure if he even realizes it himself. A big sign for me is his signs of interest PLUS his clear homophobia - this is denial at its finest.

    Do I feel like he wants to be in a relationship with you? I don't think so... at least not yet. It seems like he's not ready to make that leap and is trying to discover who he is. He might have some physical attraction with you, but everything else seems surface level.

    What were your plans for this situation?
     
    #3 Steve FS, Nov 29, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2015
  4. pestjohnbuda

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    I think that, if you feel comfortable enough, it can't hurt to tell him that you're bisexual. This, like already said, makes him aware that you trust him and that you could potentially like him, without saying it. If he feels the same, he can then tell you as soon as he's comfortable with it. This gives him a clear indication that if he would be gay or bisexual he could tell you, and you could move from there!