Broken Hearted

I am currently going through the worst pain I have ever felt (Heart Break)

I met this guy, handsome, nice, smart, had a lot of things going for him, we became fast friends. When I first met him he had a girlfriend. After a couple of months he started doing small things, flirting, hugging me, calling me his boo and making sexual gestures etc. I brushed it off even though I was starting to have a major crush on him.

Not too long after he came to me and told me that he no longer wanted to be with his girlfriend and asked me to help him tell him, I told him that he needed to be 100% honest with her because she deserved the truth. Not long after he claimed to have told her, the flirting became more serious. He started telling me that he loved me and that I was a blessing to him and that I could never leave him. He started calling me his "boo" etc.

After the girl moved home, he escalated from flirting to putting hands on me and making sexual passes at me. By this time probably 6 months had passed and I was really starting to get in my feelings. I even had a conversation with him about my feelings and he just smiled and said I love you too. We started becoming increasingly intimate, we even became sexually active. We started doing things for one another, I would buy gifts for him etc. It had almost been a year and he came to me with an eviction notice and asked me to help him and he promised to pay me back in a week. I gave him the money because I trusted him and honestly I had began to fall in love with him and he never gave me a reason not to trust him.

10 minutes after I transferred the money to his account he asked me up to his apartment to watch tv. After we sat down and started talking he pulls out his phone and says "I wonder which one of these females wants to have sex with me tonight" and he laughs. It felt like a ton of bricks hit me directly in my face. I looked over at him and said I know you've joking and he says Ok and his phone starts ringing. He face times a girl in front of me and says "Hey baby, you are looking sexy as F***, when can I see you" and then he paused the video looked at me and says "Now do you have anything you want to say, I can tell by the look on your face that you have something on your mind" and he laughs and goes back to talking to her. This was the FIRST time in the year that he ever did anything like that to me, ever. I was devastated. I got up and I walked out of the apartment and by the time I hit the stairs I was already crying. He text me and said "Thanks for helping me, I love you"

I cried all the way home, I was heart broken and I felt betrayed, I had just given him the money to keep from being evicted and he's sleeping with other people and purposely flaunted it in my face for no reason. I didn't talk to him for 2 weeks after that, the next time I saw him was when we spent the night at a hotel together. Yes, I know that sounds crazy but I was in love with him and I didn't know what to do.

We had planned to also meet and stay at a hotel the following Friday and he promised he would be there. He waited until the morning of and text me and told me that he couldn't make it. I was still holding onto anger from the day at his apartment so I confronted him and we got into an argument and we didn't speak for a few days.

Out of the blue he called me and says "I have something amazing that just happened and I need your help" I asked him what it was and he says "I submitted a video to be on TV and I got chosen and I need help buying the plane ticket" I congratulated him but I told him that I would meet with him to talk to him about it. He said that he wouldn't meet with me and I asked why and he says "I have a date coming over and I am pretty sure ole girl is going to spend the night with me" this literally ripped my heart out, we got into a huge argument and I told him I needed to see him ASAP and he cancelled the date and met with me. When we met I asked him what was going on, why he changed all of a sudden and he says "I have something to tell you, I never loved you and I am not gay. I care about you as a friend but that is it. I could never be gay, I should have never engaged with you, I did everything because I had bills to take care of, I used you and I took advantage of you and I am extremely sorry that you got hurt"

I couldn't even find words to respond, I cried and I felt like my life was ending. I asked him for my money back and for all the expensive gifts back that I had bought him because I felt like he took everything under false pretenses. He said that he would not give anything back but that he wanted us to be friends. I told him to get out of my car and I pulled off.

He text me everyday for the next 3 days asking me how I was and telling me over and over that he was extremely sorry for what he had done to me and that he had went to a pastor and prayed and asked for forgiveness for what he had done to me. I told him that if he really cared about me he would leave me alone.

3 weeks went by and he texted me and asked me if I would meet with him to catch up, I resisted and I said no. He asked me again a few days later and caved in and I went. I got there a little earlier than planned and when I drove up the building and I sent him a text telling him I was there. He told me he wasn't home but I saw his car and I questioned him about it and he said "Yes, That's my car I have a girl over and she isn't leaving for another hour, I am putting my phone on airplane mode and I will see you when she leaves" I felt hurt all over and I got angry and I went up and I knocked on the door. He came out mad and threatened me with the police and told me that I was f***ing disrespectful to show up at his place when he had a date over. (Again, He invited me)

I confronted him about EVERYTHING and I told him that he was the most evil person that I had ever met, and his response was.... I prayed and I asked GOD for forgiveness and he forgave me and I am cool with that. I really like this girl and she may be pregnant so I have bigger priorities than you now. I walked away....

A month went by, I cried almost everyday, some days it was hard for me to even get out of bed. I like a fool reached back out to him, I couldn't control my feelings or emotions and I sent a text. He responded and we were actually having a decent conversation. I asked him how him and his girlfriend were doing and how the pregnancy was going. He responds "My girl is none of your business, Shes not pregnant, Its funny how consumed you are with my life, Isnt is obvious that I don't give a damn about your personal life, The only thing you need to be concerned with is our friendship and nothing else"

I hurt myself by reaching back out to him that day, I should have kept walking, I didn't understand why he went from this amazing person to this evil, heartless person. Out of anger I told him that I was going to expose him for what he did to me, and that his ex girlfriend questioned me about me and his relationship and I lied to her to protect him but I told him that I was going to tell her the truth. He responds "I will give you back everything you ever bought me, I will give everything come and meet me now but after I give you these things you will never hear from me again"

I went and I met him and he gave me back everything and he got in his car and drove off. He blocked me on everything, every social media outlet and his phone. I haven't heard from him in 2 months and the pain hasn't eased any at all. I still think about him all day everyday, it still hurts just like it happened yesterday. This is only about 2/3 of the things he did to me, I don't know how to let go of the hurt, pain or betrayal. My heart is crushed..... :icon_sad:

Thanks for reading, I needed to vent.

Heartbroken,
Matthew

 

Thank you PG,

I already deal with extreme depression and anxiety, things I dealt with before I met him, He even promised me that he would help me with those things, I still cant believe it. It hurt so bad, I even have bad dreams about it. I will never understand what I did to ever deserve what he did to me.

Thanks again,
Matthew

 

Thanks for the replies everyone.

I made a terrible mistake the past 2 days, my emotions have been all over the place and I reached out to him VIA text twice and then tonight he changed his number. I know I shouldn't have been trying to reach out to him but my heart isn't ready to let go, and I just don't understand what I ever did to him to make him treat me this way. I ruined myself to keep a roof over his head, clothes on his back and food in his stomach and its like he literally cut my throat and walked away. It hurts really bad, all I know to do is pray! Thanks guys!