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Have a crush and I can't tell whether he's been flirting with me or not!!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by conflictedmetro, Nov 29, 2015.

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  1. conflictedmetro

    conflictedmetro
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    :dry: I'm a high school senior and decidedly gay. (I'm new here, btw.) I'm still very much closeted, though if I somehow get a boyfriend, I do plan to come out to my best friend, as hard as that may be. Anyways, to the matter at hand.
    There's this one guy in my class who's extremely cute and I have a really big crush on him. I go to bed with him on my mind and I wake up the same. I beat myself up everyday wondering if he would, could, or ever will like me back.
    I know; these are the same symptoms of a person who is obsessive, but I can't help it. I feel like he's led me on in the past, his disposition is the same as someone who has a crush on you. According to my sources, if someone flirts with you, it means they are attracted to you, point blank. I can't be so sure though. He used to initiate footsies, wink, and he often makes sexual references, which I no longer think are by accident. Now, he hardly looks at me. He has normal conversations with everyone else, but he barely speaks to me at all, and when he does, the conversation is awkward and usually ends in him calling me a dick. (I don't think he says so menacingly though.)
    Anyways, I can't tell if it's because he's trying to make me jealous, if he just doesn't like me anymore, or if he never liked me at all that way and I'm just reading too much into things.

    He also asked me if I was gay. Straight up, with a completely serious expression. I'd usually take it as a joke, but this time, there was no humorous precursor to his random inquiry. The question seemed serious, but nonexpectant, like he wanted to know but didn't think I'd tell him. Which I would have, if we had been in a different setting and he was potentially more direct with his "signals."
    When he asked, I said nothing...absolutely nothing. It was little after that when he stopped flirting...
    I feel like things would have been easier if I had said yes....I'm such an idiot... :bang:

    What do you guys think? Does he like me or not?
    I need a hell of a lot of advice, and if you could help me it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks guys
     
    #1 conflictedmetro, Nov 29, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2015
  2. Connorcode

    Connorcode Guest

    Sucks, doesn't it?
    I had a similar situation with a guy over the past two years, and it's just ended new because we've left school. I was giving him pretty intimate advice (he asked me for advice) often, he used to wink and put his hands on me and even flirt - but we never came together because I couldn't figure out what he wanted.
    1) flirting doesn't mean they're attracted to you: I've done it to screw with people or annoy them - certainly not because I was attracted to them!
    2) Unless something obvious happens, you're not going to know for sure if he's into guys at all. There's nothing in your situation that I would say tips the scales to suggest he is bi or gay.
    3) Some people seem to magically pick up on the fact that you like guys without any clear clues - it's intuition - so maybe don't read into him asking you if you're gay.

    If you try and have some proper conversations with him, I believe you'll have a better idea about whether he's into you or bi/gay at all. It's easy to let your imagination run away when your crush isn't part of your normal social circle! I'm guilty of that!
    Good luck
     
    #2 Connorcode, Nov 29, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 29, 2015
  3. AnotherStranger

    AnotherStranger
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    If someone asks you of you are gay and you dont answer, you are either meaning that you dont know for sure or that you are but closeted.

    I honestly dont know if this guy is into you but i can tell you that when we people have a crush on someone, we kind of expect them to give us signals but we tend to conceal what we feel and dont give them any clue at all. Just in case. Its like if we thought the other person must already know and must let us know. Well maybe he was expecting some signals he could read into too, but couldnt find any. I woud try to give him a sign, one of those you only get if you want to get it, and leave you doubting "what did he mean?" to see how he reacts
     
    #3 AnotherStranger, Nov 29, 2015
  4. conflictedmetro

    conflictedmetro
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    I would love to have a normal conversation with, but I've no idea what to talk about...you see, I'm a huge introvert. I've never been in any sort of relationship, and all my other friends have been my friends for years. I don't have casual friends...only close ones.

    This is my issue: I want an immediate bond, but that's not possible, so I've got no idea how to approach this.

    ---------- Post added 29th Nov 2015 at 10:38 PM ----------
    I have no idea what kind of signal would do that. Everything's either too obvious or too subtle. Any suggestions?
     
    #4 conflictedmetro, Nov 29, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2015
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