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Nervous to go over to my boyfriend's house?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by RavenTheRat, Nov 29, 2015.

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  1. RavenTheRat

    RavenTheRat
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    GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER
    Okay so now that I've taken care of that

    I have anxiety, and this is my first time in a relationship. I have discovered something. Relationships make me really anxious. Like, REALLY anxious.
    My boyfriend's birthday is in about a month and he wants me to come over to just you know, watch a movie. For a normal person, no big deal.

    I am not a normal person. I told him that I don't know whether I'll be free (I will, I have pretty much zero obligations besides school) because I freaked out. It's just.... I don't know. I'm so frustrated right now because I've never wished so much that I could just be normal. Instead of needing moral support just to go over to someone's house. I'm so nervous about everything when it comes to this. The problem is I HATE drawing attention to myself. And I love my boyfriend, don't get me wrong. But, he tends to be an attention-drawing person.

    When we're alone, I'm not anxious at all. I'm fine, and I always have a good time. That's why I know the problem isn't the relationship ITSELF. It's when we're in PUBLIC that I freak out and act basically possesed (bless him for putting up with me might I add).

    I just..... feel stuck, I guess.

    To be honest, it's less that attention is actually drawn to me and more that I THINK attention is being drawn to me.

    Any advice for maybe.. I don't know, dealing with this? I'd be really grateful.
     
    #1 RavenTheRat, Nov 29, 2015
  2. Connorcode

    Connorcode Guest

    Everyone's their own kind of normal; everyone's different and that's not a problem.
    You have your start: the situation you want to change is when you get anxious in public because you think attention is being drawn to you.
    Now identify solutions.
    Is it being drawn to you? Yes and no. When you're out with your boyfriend, you might be feeling anxious about what people think about you and whether they're noticing you and your boyfriend. Why is this? It could be because you're gay, and you think - and/or worry that other people will think - that this isn't normal, that it is somehow bad. It's not bad at all, as we know.
    Will people pay attention? It depends, on where you are, what your doing and who everyone else is, but they probably won't because everyone's a little bit selfish - friends and family are more important than strangers.

    Take a deep breath when in public, and be a little bit selfish: he's your boyfriend and so, unless you meet friends or family, strangers should mind their own business.
    Talk to your boyfriend, tell him when you're anxious or even the next time you see him. Talk it through and see what he can do for you: he's there to help and to love you, so take advantage of him.
    Good luck :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Connorcode, Nov 29, 2015
  3. RavenTheRat

    RavenTheRat
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    Thank you so much, this really helped :slight_smile: It's not because I'm gay, because I'm not, hehe x3 I'm non-binary, but in terms of strangers thinking of me and my boyfriend as two boys, I am biologically female and have a feminine voice and figure, so most people automatically assume I'm a girl. However, your advice is fantastic. You're right... I guess I need to just take a moment to observe and see if any attention is truly being drawn to me. "Take a deep breath when in public, and be a little bit selfish: he's your boyfriend and so, unless you meet friends or family, strangers should mind their own business" I need to write this down so I remember it, haha. This is the best possible advice you could have given me, thank you so much, really (&&&)
     
    #3 RavenTheRat, Nov 29, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2015
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