Masculine guy only attracted to fems

As an effeminate guy, I would say that effeminate men do want to date masculine men. I think an analogy can be drawn to straight men and straight women. Yes, women do like to get fucked and then hang out with their female friends, and they may not share many interests with their boyfriends, but they do still want to date, and the relationship can still be meaningful. I think it's just harder to find the right guy to click with because it is so much harder for the LGBT+ community to find relationships than it is for straight people.

But yes, most effeminate men are interested in dating masculine men.

 

Couple of thoughts here:

First, perhaps you could wear a rainbow bracelet or some other subtle gay pride symbol that would tell those in the know that you're 'one of us' while not screaming it from the rooftops. There are all different kinds of pridewear - a bit of online research could turn up something that appeals to you.

Second, and speaking as someone who has both been in a committed relationship for near 20yrs and has somewhat esoteric hobbies and interests - sometimes it's not a matter of finding someone who shares all your interests, sometimes it's a matter of both compatible personalities and sharing some interests while respecting each other enough to allow you both to also do your own thing to some degree. That may mean you each going off and doing your own thing from time to time. Or it may mean being there for your guy (and him for you) even though the activity in question doesn't thrill or fascinate you all that much. And it also means finding some things you both enjoy in common and doing those together. Not to mention things like complementary personality traits.

Basically, don't just look for someone who is your clone except they are fem. Look for someone who makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside or makes you laugh or in whatever way(s) makes you feel good. And then take it from there.

Hope this helps,

Todd

 

I'm with AK Todd, get a Rainbow Bracelet. Seriously. I've started wearing one in the last year. As a "masculine" guy, it's helped a lot of gay/bi guys notice me because I don't act in an effeminate manner. Like you, I'm attracted to more feminine guys. Being nerdy helps, but like you, I enjoy metal music and playing hockey. But every couple needs things they do separate from each other and have their own interests. Apart time is just as important as together time.

As far as you being exclusively top, At least where I'm from, that really wouldn't limit your dating potential much. Most "feminine" guys - at least the ones I've met - tend to have a preference for bottoming. Though this obviously isn't always the case.

 

Just another suggestion - Perhaps consider volunteering at your local LGBT center - they can almost certainly use the help and while doing something good you are also likely to encounter some number of other LGBT people in an environment that is focused on getting something done and getting to know people instead of just meeting them for sex or relationships. Along the way, you may meet someone who you click with.

One thing if you decide to go this route...do it because it's a good thing to do and/or because you want to contribute to the community. Not just because you want to meet someone. Treat that as the icing on the cake rather than the goal in itself.

Todd

 

What is it exactly your looking for? A longer term relationship or just friends with benefits? I think its hard to find long term relationships for everyone, you just have to keep trying.
I agree with those before; it sounds like what you need to do (if you want to be out and open about being gay) is to contact your local LGBT group and try to find some like minded friends to start with. If anything that way you can feel a little more of a conection with other likeminded people. It might be just what your searching for.

 

Honestly? You're in luck, being a masculine and a top, since those both make for hot commodities in the gay community. It seems guys across the spectrum are attracted to masculine men. Fems attracted to fems? Not so much.

Question: why is it so important that they share your interests? I wouldn't want someone who was exactly like me. A bit of balance is needed, you know? If they're fem, it goes without saying that their world probably isn't going to revolve around combat sports, though even there, I wouldn't say never.

It also depends on where you're meeting them. If it's somewhere just to hook up, then that's the crowd you're going to draw. Are you involved in any events, organizations, or LGBT establishments?

 

My partner is quite effeminate. We do have different interests but have found common ones twe do together. In terms of the bedroom, we have both evolved to be quite flexible and like to mix things up a bit, so that is not an issue; but that did take a bit of time for both of us to open our minds to.

The funny thing is, where people who do not know are often surprised when they find out I am gay, with my partner, everyone always assumes he is and yet he is always surprised that their first impressions are that he is gay because he thinks he is quite masculine himself. I dare not tell him

 

I speak for me and many other queens when i say
We freaking fangirl over a guy like you and you are prince charming for many who want a reltionship
If i was one of the guys you talked about id do my best to keep you for myself
trust me you are the person most gays fem or not
dream of having

 

I speak for me and many other queens when i say
We freaking fangirl over a guy like you and you are prince charming for many who want a reltionship
If i was one of the guys you talked about id do my best to keep you for myself
trust me you are the person most gays fem or not
dream of having

 

I like feminine guys as well, more than masculine men. Don't get me wrong, masculine men are hot, but I think feminine guys are cute, especially the ones that are sassy LOL.

I get where you're coming from though, people think I'm straight and so there's trouble there. I have to wear something that lets people know that I'm not straight.

 

Hm. I can't speak because I'm not really a feminine guy, but I have a feminine gay male friend and he's the type that wants to be in a relationship with someone like you.

Like what others have said, you're the kind of guy a lot of gay men want, so please don't think that you're going to be alone forever, lol. Your only curse is the fact that you have to constantly come out to people, and that's OK.

 

I am kinda effeminate and you are my "dream guy" So yes, there will be someone out there who will pine for you!

It's a shame you live in London as I will have made my move on you (!)(!)

 

I think finally this might be the thread I've been looking for since I first signed up to this forum!

I might not have actually decided my orientation, but I'm masculine acting and just find an unexplainable magnetism toward fem guys...

 

Haha, are you joking? You are the fantasy boyfriend of every bottom gay guy, which accounts for at least 60% of gay guys under the age of 30. This is at risk of becoming a hook up site now