Do They Sound Accepting?

Okay, after I came out, early on there was a time when I was watching House. He pretended to be gay with Wilson as part of some kind of plot. I don't remember what it was, but it had to do with hooking up with some girl somehow. I am not sure what he did or why he was pretending to be with Wilson though, but it doesn't matter. When I told this to my Mom, she said, "That wouldn't make her want to be with him. It would make you want to wretch. Women would be disgusted by the idea of two men together." I told her that I was bisexual in the past, and I was very upset that she would make that comment to me after I told her that. When I called her on it, she said she wasn't saying anything about my "supposed" orientation, indicating that maybe she didn't fully believe me yet. She also had said after that in response to what I was saying that, "No woman would want to be with a guy who had ever been with a man even once." There was also an occasion where a lot of stereotypes were spouted, but luckily I got them past that without too much problem. Once I did, they seemed much more accepting. When I talked to her, she then acknowledged that what she was saying about how all women wouldn't reject me or someone else because of that. However, she still said that she wouldn't be with a man who had ever been with another man.

Later on, things seemed different. There were some things that made me think that they are supportive, but maybe that's wishful thinking given the stuff they said before I don't know. This isn't directly related to my sexuality, but it's something that is sort of noteworthy. I painted my nails with a blue sharpie. My mother seemed to be okay with it, and she even offered to give me nail polish It was really sweet actually. My Dad kind of shook his head, and when I was out of earshot made a little bit of a disgruntled comment about it. However, he was okay with it too and doesn't have a problem with it. Then, recently I told them about how I secretly liked one of my guy friends in college for over a year. I also said that if he were like that, I may have acted on it. People were quite accepting of me. It wasn't talked about at first, but then she wanted to play a sort of guessing game to figure out who it was I liked Again, really kind of sweet. They also said that the whole thing of liking my friend was "just sounded like me figuring myself out and just part of life". Wow, that was such a nice thing to hear too She also said she didn't think what I said was "too uncommon". Wow, it was such a far cry from her the "makes her want to wretch" comments The other night, I was talking to my Mom about avoiding being a slob. I said that women don't like that, and she agreed but also said something to the effect of "a woman or ......" I don't remember what she said, but she may have said partner or something like that. I think she said something to that effect, but I'm not sure. It's possible she was meaning it like a roommate, but I don't know she may have meant another guy.

Basically, I'm feeling like I'm getting some support these days. The things my Mom has said and done recently has seemed very accepting and supportive. However, the comments about things making her "want to wretch" still kind of get to me. I really hope to God that she doesn't see me like that on some level. I really hope that if I ever did anything with another guy that she wouldn't see me like that. I don't know, things seem pretty supportive right now. However, with the "makes me want to wretch" comments of the past, I'm feeling a little uncertain and like I'd like to talk about things more.