So, I'm 20, lesbian, and pretty inexperienced in the whole relationships/feelings. I've known my straight best friend at university for around 3 years now, we have lived together for the last 2. In the last year we have become a lot closer, and in the process, she has become comfortable with snuggling up to me when we watch films etc, as well as just coming and lying next to me when I'm chilling on my bed. I've never really been one for that much contact, but have recently found that it is getting me a bit 'hot under the collar'. I'm pretty sure that I don't have any sexual/romantic feelings for her, but I don't understand why this is happening?! I don't know whether it's because I have recently experienced sexual intimacy with a woman recently, and so now any contact just has the same effect! So basically, I'm trying to figure out whether or not to tell my friend about it, and ask her to stop being as snuggly, but I'm worried that this will ruin our friendship. Anyone else experienced this? Any help is much appreciated!
In a way, it's a good problem right? because when I saw the subject title I thought trouble meant conflict. I think this is happening because of your recent sexual experiences, strong hormones @ age 20 no doubt AND because nothing gets a woman more open to sex than lots of affection and feelings of closeness. Some women, even straight women, crave "contact comfort" because they have grown up with an affection deficit. So if anyone is willing to be physically close and cuddly, they can't get enough of it. Others just grew up in a very affectionate family and think nothing of being that way with everyone. Does your friend know you're lesbian? Do you think maybe she's not straight? If you're close maybe you can tell her... You know I don't have any romantic, sexual feelings for you but right now my hormones are bouncing off the ceiling, and something we don't want to happen might happen if our bodies keep touching like this. Would she feel rejected? I have hetero women friends who know I'm bi, and yet they're still affectionate with me, and I really like that. If you really don't want to tell her, you'll just have to control yourself, which I believe you CAN do for the sake of the friendship. Btw, did you know that a lot of Christian gals get into this problem in Bible College dorms, even when they're straight and sexual contact of any kind, never mind same-sex contact, is frowned upon? That's how strong the hormones + closeness + love combo is in women. Thus, a number of straight Christian women have their first sexual experience with other women! Maybe not always genital contact, but everything but. This is not rumour; I know this for a fact.
