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That Was A Slap In The Face

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Contact1111, Dec 4, 2015.

  1. Contact1111

    Contact1111 Guest

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    Although my parents say that they accept me and want to me to accept myself, they say that they love me regardless, and they have been seemingly accepting in other ways, it looks like they might want to avoid contact with me :frowning2: You know, I have a habit of asking them things like "would you never speak to me again?" and things of the sort. This was well before I ever said anything about sexuality. Now that I have, I asked if things went in that direction if they would avoid contact. My Dad says no, but my Mom is being vague. I said to her, "Would you ever avoid speaking to me?" She answers by saying, "Is that really the most important thing, whether your parents speak to you?" Wow, just wow! I can hardly even believe she just said this. Then, she answers and says that she would speak to me, but I don't believe her. I overheard her talking with my Dad after I said that she had expressed uncertainty, and when my Dad asked her if she expressed uncertainty, I hear her say, "Well, there would be. There's uncertainty in life." I can't fucking believe this, it sounds like there is a possibility that I could be getting disowned by my Mom, even though she claims to "love me regardless". I don't care what she says about it "not being the most important thing", being shunned by my parents is going to suck if it happens :frowning2:
     
  2. Contact1111

    Contact1111 Guest

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    This is getting really and truly bizarre. I just don't know what to think. She is saying to me that she would never avoid speaking to me. However, she denies having said that to my Dad with regard to whether there was uncertainty about it, "Well there would be. There's uncertainty in life." I am just dumbfounded. I'm starting to feel like something is seriously amiss that I'm not seeing :frowning2:
     
  3. pestjohnbuda

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    Wow, that must be a really confusing thing to have happened. I have no experience with this whatsoever, but maybe it would be a good idea to go talk to them? Tell them "we need to talk", get them around the table and tell everything you think and you feel. Tell them that you love them, and that you want them to be there for you. Then make them clear what the idea was they gave you and that that confused you and hurt you, and give them time to ask questions. Would this be an option? Maybe she meant something different, maybe your mind is going crazy. I would say this would be the straightest way to get an answer, not? I want to wish you all the best, you can contact me if you want :slight_smile:
     
  4. Contact1111

    Contact1111 Guest

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    It's weird, like I wrote this not long after I thought it happened, but somehow I am unsure if she said "well there would be" in response to that. I'm just not sure if she said it in direct response to the question or not. It's just really strange. I did talk with them a few times, and they have said several times that they would never stop speaking to me. They say that they love me regardless. On one occasion, my Mom even said to some of the things I said about it "sounds good". It's still just strange though, because I kind of think I did hear that. My Dad says that I must have misheard, because my Mom said "well there wouldn't be" with regard to the uncertainty about her speaking with me. I just am finding it very strange, because I feel like I don't know what happened or what didn't. That comment would seem a different than the other things that she has said like her saying that she wants to have a "close" relationship with me, etc. I really just don't know what to make of this, but I am not feeling like I can just ignore it either. They say that they would always speak with me, etc., and my Dad said I misheard. However, I am feeling confused still.
     
  5. DougTheBicycle

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    I was in a very similar position earlier this year. During a conversation with my mom, she actually said that she would be fine with me being gay, but being bi would be "weird." (If you want the full story, I made a blog post about it.)

    But when I did finally come out to them, after about half an hour of explaining things, she was totally cool. I know it's still kind of weird for her, but she does still love me, and support me 100%. Sometimes they just need help to understand everything. One of the better things would be just to sit them down and have a talk. Or, if you don't feel comfortable talking to them at the same time, talk to them separately. Give them time to understand everything.

    It's gonna be okay. (*hug*) We're here for you. :slight_smile:
     
  6. Contact1111

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    It's just strange though, because even though they said after I explained things she said of it "that all sounds good". However, that remark just confused me...... if it even was that remark. I really am just unsure if I misheard or if my mother was seriously unsure if she would remain in contact with me? :eek: I've misheard things before, but I just am still finding myself confused. She said to me over and over that she would always stay in touch with me and be part of my life. However, what I thought I heard just kind of shocked me. Except my Dad said that she said wouldn't rather than would. I guess maybe they could sound kind of similar? The comment about "there's uncertainty in life" was actually because my Dad asked her again while he was trying to reassure me that my Mom had no uncertainty about speaking to me. When he asked her a similar question she said, "There's uncertainty in life". However, she says stuff like that sometimes, because she gets annoyed that I often ask her things like that. She says it's almost like I have OCD or something with it, but I had never asked her that in relation to my sexuality. I just don't know what to make of it, I mean if she really was saying behind my back that she might not speak to me....... I just feel like I wouldn't really be able to trust her...... then again maybe I misheard her say the whole thing about "well there would be". Now I'm also not even sure what she was saying it to, which was just weird. It wouldn't seem like the same person who said "that all sounds good" would be the same person to say they weren't sure if they could be capable of cutting off all contact because of it. Then again, I'm still just confused about that comment I thought I had heard.

    I'll definitely read your blog. That sounds like quite the story. I'm glad she came around for you :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Contact1111, Dec 10, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2015