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scared of becoming attached

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by MerBear, Dec 4, 2015.

  1. MerBear

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    there's this girl i matched on ****** with recently, and we've been talking a lot, facetiming and she is really amazing.that i have seen so far.. but i'm just cautious because i'm trying not to get hurt. every girl i think is amazing turns out to be someone who hurts me, and i'm just scared. i dont want to get attached so easily. i keep becoming paranoid.. like i dont know. the last girl jillian...i got attached to her, and she said she liked me in the beginning then changed her mind, and just ended up hurting me. this happens with every girl. i always think there's a catch to every girl i meet. like they're either straight, or they are going to just leave, or they're just using me for rides and money, just anything.

    i'm trying to figure out the catch with this girl i recently met... so i can avoid being hurt...i'm so tired of being let down, and lied to. i really am. i just want what everyone else wants, to find someone who makes them happy..

    but im scared of someone making me happy because im scared of being hurt...
    what should i do
     
  2. MerBear

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    I probably sound pathetic :/
     
  3. MerBear

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    I probably sound pathetic :/
     
  4. Really

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    I don't think you're pathetic but I think you answered your own question.

    You're getting attached too fast. Try to step back a bit and just see if you like them as friends. Maybe they're not even the type of girls you'd normally be friendly with once you got to know them.

    Remember, they've got to be worthy of your attention, too. Not just the other way round. :slight_smile:
     
  5. MerBear

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    Well I of course like her as a friend, that's how it starts hahaha. It's just the idea of finding her attractive in different ways now that scares me. Becoming attached is what I don't want. I tried taking a step back but i just push her away
     
  6. Really

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    Maybe I don't understand what's happening. Are you getting ahead of yourself in these situations? E.g. Thinking you like them more than might be expected? Or are you having trouble figuring out these other girls before it's too late? That they're not a good fit for you.

    Can you identify any patterns that might point to something you could change for next time?
     
  7. MerBear

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    she's an amazing girl, i dont have a crush on her or anything. i just really like her personality a lot. i guess you could say i'm attached? i dont really know what the requirements would to be considered "attached". ?? i dont feel attached, i just i guess. i like her personality a lot so far. and i'm just scared when i do start to really like her after to getting to know her more that i'm going to end up being hurt somehow. i'm scared to let her in...because out of fear of getting hurt.
     
  8. MerBear

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    This is how I explained it to her

    "That's what scares me. Someone who makes me happy comes along and I feel like it's going to ruined by something"

    And she said this

    "You are weird, but the good kind of weird. I like it. I know you're scared, but you shouldn't worry. I'm not going to leave you. I'm going to be here to try my hardest to make you happy and make you laugh and hopefully make good memories together. Please don't worry."
     
  9. Really

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    Well, she sounds really nice and since you've told her your fear and she's given you that thoughtful reply, you can stop worryingly now. There are no guarantees but she sounds like she could be someone who'd be really nice to get to know better.

    She might turn out to be as amazing as she seems right now. :thumbsup:
     
  10. MerBear

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    yeah, thank you. just my paranoia i guess
     
  11. MerBear

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    yeah, thank you. just my paranoia i guess