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Really lost MTN

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Bellis27, Dec 6, 2015.

  1. Bellis27

    Regular Member

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    Hey, I'm new here. I hate joining forum websites, but I need help.

    I'm neutrois, and before I came out, I thought the closet was the worst place ever. Honestly, at this point, I kinda miss it. As much as I hate being called male (my birth sex) and with he pronouns (which still happens btw), it would be heaven to be back in the closet.
    What happened was a result of my insomnia and my super hearing skills. I was lying on my bed, and I overheard my brother in the next room talking to his girlfriend about genderfluidity. I sorta id as genderfluid, and eventually my stupid f***ing brother goes and tells his girlfriend about me. He mentioned my "preferred" pronouns, but didn't even use them. Then, instead of saying I'm neutrois, he said I was agender, which would be fine if not for the fact that that's his way of saying the word I use for my gender is stupid or SJWish.
    Another thing, I used to go through phases. Like, every year or so I'd pretend to be another ethnicity for whatever reason, it's a long story. My brother likes to say this is proof that I'll stop being trans. I hate when people know about my phases (I hate being around one of my brother's friends because he knows all about them), so naturally he goes and tells her, and that's why I'm here. It made me so pissed.
    So, what do I do now? Pretend I'm male again and "prove" him right? Sure as hell not gonna bother talking to him about it again. He's a master transphobe. I just don't know what to do anymore. Sorry if this sounds choppy, I'm really angry and confused. What can I do?
     
  2. AKTodd

    Full Member

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    1) Stop worrying about your brother's opinion on this issue. It's your life, not his, so who cares what he thinks.

    2) Live your life in the way that makes you happy and fulfilled. Whether it makes anyone else happy and fulfilled is really of no importance outside of tactical and logistical considerations around your personal safety, being able to earn a living/have food and a roof over your head, etc. If/when you meet and develop a relationship with someone that adds an additional wrinkle, but that that point you will presumably find that part (not all) of your happiness and fulfillment will arise from making them happy and you may modify your behavior somewhat at that point. But it doesn't sound like you're there yet, so not really a concern just now.

    Hope this helps,

    Todd
     
  3. YinYang

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    (*hug*) I'm really sorry about how your brother is treating you. But you need to ignore him. Like Todd said, it's your life, not his.
     
  4. Bellis27

    Regular Member

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    I have a problem of caring *way* too much about what people think of me. I'm going to find some help for that. Maybe the best thing to do is keep being me and prove him wrong.
    A few days ago, he was making fun of me by "coming out" as a trans woman, saying ridiculous things like he wanted to be called "She-wolf". I think it would be almost empowering to just call him She-wolf and act like I'm not botheredby it. Eventually, I might not be offended by it, and he'll stop being this way. I'll stop reacting to him when he gets this way.
    Thanks, you guys, I usually get so pissed that I can't figure out the problem, so thanks for helping remind me.