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My family insists on misgendering me

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by FightingShadows, Dec 7, 2015.

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  1. FightingShadows

    FightingShadows
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    So, as most of you probably know from previous posts I've made, I've been out to my family for a few years. All of them are okay with it in the sense that no one's disowned me but as far as calling me the right name and pronouns, that is not even a figment in their imaginations. My problem is that they continually misgender me to others they introduce me to. I've told them this hurts, they don't care. My brother and his family are coming to my house in the next few days to introduce us to my sister in law's father whom we've never met. I know without a doubt what will happen and am upset and sick just thinking about it. I'm so sick of going through this time and again and am seriously contemplating not going home until later on after I'm sure they've left. I've basically cut out all family that refuse to accept me (including this brother). Except for my parents (because I still live with them), one other brother and a cousin, I don't have anything to do with any of the others. I'm not on bad terms with any of them, I just refuse to accept that they don't accept me. I know my sister in law and brother will be upset if I don't come home to meet her father, but I really don't want to go through another round of this.
    Anyone have any ideas what to do?
     
    #1 FightingShadows, Dec 7, 2015
  2. AnotherStranger

    AnotherStranger
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    Have you told them you'd rather stop seeing them that keep on being missgendered?

    Its your identity and they must accept it, they have no excuse at all not to do it. If they are upset let them.be, maybe this way they realise how much it hurts!! okay maybe this is not a good advice but really Im angry at them too that they are doing this to you. Its very easy for them. Maybe they dont understand how important it is to you, you could ask them to do some research and to speak with other people in your same situation.


    Know that its them who are doing something wrong and they have no right to be upset.
     
    #2 AnotherStranger, Dec 7, 2015
  3. GayPugs

    GayPugs
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    Whoa! That is HARD! Maybe give your parents a script. Like:
    Hello! This is my son/daughter (sorry, I forgot to check what gender you are). Her/his name is _____<---(insert name).

    Just an idea. I have no experience with transgender people so please don't take advice from me (I wish I had more experience).
     
    #3 GayPugs, Dec 7, 2015
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